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“Because you are a wonderful, loving mother who wants everything for her kids. You are now on the other side of that equation,” Ian said, stroking the hair back from my face. “You remember what it was like to not have your mom there. Or to have a mom whose agenda was always at odds with your success and happiness.”

All true.

“That’s why when we go on tour, it’s so hard for you to be away from the kids. You spend all that time remembering how your mother would just up and disappear, abandoning you to raise yourself.”

I met the understanding in his warm blue eyes. When I curled into him, he wrapped me up and tucked his chin against the top of my head.

“We get it, all of us. It’s okay to miss her. I know it ties you up in knots cause you hate her choices and hate how she treated people. But you don’t ever have to justify that to me.”

I swallowed, playing with his shirt. “I think I need to justify it to myself.”

“Okay. What do you need to do that?”

“I literally have no idea. A few months ago, I tried to nudge Eddie into seeing a woman he liked. But he said he wasn’t ready. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be ready.”

“He might not be, Angel. Fixing him up or fixing his loneliness or whatever it is you want to fix—that’s not on you.” The steadiness in Ian helped. “Eddie’s a good guy. Once upon a time, I don’t think I would have said it. But…he and Archie have mended fences. He and Ted were at least reconciled before Ted died. That gives both of them some peace. Eddie’s great as a granddad.”

A real smile curved my lips. “He really is. He loves the kids. All of them.”

“I know. It was hard for some of them, in the beginning, but everyone has adapted.”

Everyone except Muriel. Well, Muriel and Coop’s dad. The distance between Coop and his father just never recovered, particularly after he found out about him and Maddy.

Maddy destroyed so much.

“Okay,” I said, lifting my head. “Enough of the maudlin. It’s Christmas. Are we ready for invasion?”

“Pretty sure, we’re good, Angel. The kids won’t be up for at least another hour. You want to try and sleep some more?”

“No,” I said. “I’m awake. I want to—I want to have all of it. I want to hear them yell and shout as they come down the hall. I want Jeremy to scold in that prim and proper tone that gets the kids to obey. I want Coop to be grouchy cause he doesn’t like early mornings and Archie to hopped up on sugar and caffeine, ready to put all the big things together.”

These were all some of my favorite things.

“Did Jake and I make the list in there somewhere?” The teasing tone erased any possible sting and a giggle escaped.

“Well, you’re doing it now. Cuddling, making sure everything is taken care of—I’ve been running you ragged the last few weeks. Don’t think I haven’t noticed the overtime you’ve been putting in to look after me.”

“Well, I appreciate that,” he said, stroking his fingers through my hair again. “I love taking care of you. I love that you let me do it. Especially when your hormones and emotions put you on some huge seesaw.”

“I never even see it until it’s happening and then you’re right there, already making it better.”

“Good,” he murmured, dropping another kiss on my nose. There was a sound of running feet in the hall and I sat up a little as a very naked Charlie came charging in.

“Oh boy,” Ian said, laughing as he caught our little rug monkey. “Where are your clothes?”

Charlie burst into giggles then pointed.

“I have them,” Jake said in the dryest of tones. I twisted to see him standing in the doorway with Charlie’s pajamas on his head.

Like Charlie, I started laughing.

“Tell you what,” Ian said as he stood. “Let me go wrangle the monkey into some clothes and you get some coffee and decaf for the wife.”

I laughed when “the wife” had become a popular endearment when I was pregnant. Then again, it started right after the wedding, so it wasn’t like I could fault it.

“You got him?” I asked as Ian balanced Charlie against him. The little one had his head pressed to Ian’s chest and his cherubic smile promised the only thing holding up his halo were the two little horns sticking out of the top of his head.

“I got him. Go let Jake look after you, Angel. That’s an order.”

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