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“That’s your last warning.” He tapped my thighs in a silent threat.
“Thank you…Daddy,” I added quickly.
“Good girl.” His words were a complete contradiction to his actions as he began to spank again.
“Please, no more!” I cried out, arching my back.
He was apparently unmoved by my pleas. “You’re not in charge here. Daddy decides how long and how hard you get spanked.”
“Yes, Sir.” I bit my lip to keep from begging. I didn’t think it would work, and there was a niggle in the back of my mind that it was exactly what he wanted.
Screw that.
“Let this spanking be a reminder that your life is about to change for the better. You are going to work hard to get back on track, and I will be here making sure that you do. We will come up with a plan together and you will stick to it. But I need you to listen to me carefully.” He paused.
I tried to focus on his words and the comforting effect I knew he intended them to have, but I felt the tears of guilt and embarrassment rise to the surface. I thought about Henry and wished it could be him spanking me nearly to tears, swooping in to fix the mess my life had become.
“This problem did not happen overnight and it will not be fixed overnight. You will need to work hard. Are you listening?”
“Yes, Daddy.” My voice hitched and I knew I was going to completely lose it any second.
“As hard as it will be, though, you are not alone in this anymore.” He spoke those last words in a deep, tender voice without swats accompanying his words, and it was about all I could handle. Every muscle in my body melted and I collapsed over his knee as I started to cry.
I was crying not just because it hurt, but because I was mad that it was him spanking me and not Henry. I was crying for all I’d lost in a way I’d never let myself before. As much as I knew I needed to do this for my own sake, and my kids, doing it felt oddly like moving on once and for all. Long mournful wails pierced the air around us and my whole body shook with my incoherent cries. I would have thought he would have stopped after that, but no, he started spanking again, and I cried harder and harder, until it became difficult to breathe. Panicking, I flailed wildly and managed to throw myself off his lap and onto the floor.
“I-I c-can’t…” I tried to talk but I needed to breathe. He reached for me, but I scrambled away as fast as I could, shaking my head.
Bain
“Fuck,” I cursed realizing I’d made the biggest asshole mistake in the history of asshole mistakes. I hadn’t given her a safeword.
“Jasmine, fuck. I am so sorry.” I didn’t reach for her again because it was obvious she didn’t want to be touched at the moment. “We’re done, okay? Your spanking is over, and I’m so sorry.”
She looked at me, confused as she grasped for breath between sobs.
“I made a huge mistake, little one.” I rubbed my forehead in frustration, not really knowing what to do or how to fix this. I’d been a Dom for way too long not to know better. Jasmine was pretty much a newbie, playing with someone she’d never played with before. It was my responsibility to teach her the ropes of safe, sane, and consensual dynamics, and I had epically failed. There had been no negotiation and no discussion of safewords whatsoever. The guys were going to flay me alive. No, fuck that, Nyla was going to castrate me.
Jasmine’s sobs slowed and she seemed to be catching her breath, but I didn’t know what to say. There was no excuse and no explanation I could give her that would excuse my behavior, but I couldn’t just do nothing.
“Can I help you up, please?” I reached my hand toward her and waited, not wanting to scare her any further.
Thankfully, she put her hand in mine and allowed me to help her to her feet, and then to a spot next to me on the couch.
“Jazz, I made a huge mistake here. We should have talked about a safeword for you to use if you needed me to stop. I’m so sorry.” It was lame even to my own ears. “Are you okay?”
She nodded. “Yeah, I just… I was crying and I couldn’t breathe.”
“Oh honey, I am so fucking sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not, not really, but I can’t go backwards and fix it.” I scrubbed my hand across the back of my head. “Look, I’ll tell the team I fucked up. We’ll comp you some time and we’ll pair you with someone else—”
“Bain, stop. Please.” She laid a hand on my thigh. “I’m fine. I just… there was a lot going on in my brain, and I just panicked for a second. I needed a minute to catch my breath. I’m okay now, or I will be in a minute. I don’t want someone else.”
Her kindness and grace just made me feel worse. She shouldn’t have had to console me. The whole night had officially gone to crap.
“I need to think about it. I know you don’t know any better, but believe me when I say I really messed up. I don’t deserve your trust, and none of this works without trust.”
