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“You worried me, Maria. I realize we barely know each other but you could have been hurt.”
“What does it matter to you?”
As I rubbed my jaw, I resisted the desire to yank her across my lap, teaching her a harsh lesson. Instead, I scooted my chair close so only she could hear what I was about to say.
“Let me tell you a little story. When I was a little boy, I ran away from my mother one early December day. I was maybe five or six at the time. She’d taken my brother and me Christmas shopping, something both Constantine and I had begged her to do. Meanwhile, my sister was home sick with the flu, which was why my mother had almost said no.”
She took a deep breath, her lower lip quivering.
“Going out was against my father’s wishes. He’d recently had a threat made against both him and the family, something I certainly didn’t understand. That’s why I bugged my mother endlessly. She’d also wanted to have pictures of her boys on Santa’s lap. You see, my beautiful mother had never believed there were evil men who would dare try and hurt children or women for that matter. However, she learned a lesson not once but twice on a rare snowy evening. I’d made a fuss about a toy that I didn’t know was already purchased and wrapped. Because I was acting like the brat I was, her attention was pulled from my brother after I bolted, finding a hiding place. During that time, Constantine was left all by himself, even though my mother had told him to come with her.” I stopped talking long enough to lift my gaze, never blinking. Her eyes were opened wide, her breath more ragged than before.
The memory was one I couldn’t stand to think about, even if I didn’t remember much of what had occurred.
“What happened?” she asked a few seconds later.
Maria almost sounded genuinely interested. “The blip was all the time necessary for two men to abduct my brother. Of course, I was only told this later, but he was taken out the back door of the toy store, tied up, and tossed into a trunk. I can’t imagine how terrified he was. When she realized he wasn’t following her, she panicked because she realized Constantine was also nowhere to be found. Fortunately, my father had learned she’d left without his permission, tasking two of his men to follow and keep us in their sights. If it hadn’t been for their quick thinking, including one of them being shot and almost losing his life, my brother would have been used as a pawn, maybe even killed in retaliation for a business deal gone wrong. Meanwhile, I’d been safe and sound hiding in some boxes in the back room of the store.”
She pressed her hand against her lips. At least she had the decency of appearing horrified.
“Anyway, Constantine was recovered less than an hour later but as you might imagine, he was traumatized. My father went on a killing spree. I’m certain you know all about blood in the streets as your father was as much a savage as mine was.”
Her jaw remained clenched, every muscle tense. “At least you were both safe.”
“Yes, safe. After the dust settled, my father learned that one of his most trusted men had betrayed him, making a single phone call to my pops’ most dangerous enemy because he’d seen my mother leaving the house unescorted. It would seem my father’s enemy had waited patiently for a single mistake to be made.” I reiterated the message by lifting my arm, pointing my index finger into the air. “One phone call, one mistake and a few seconds and my mother could have lost her oldest child. I assure you the man who’d tried to have him kidnapped would have tortured my brother before killing him. There is no respect or rules followed by certain venomous creatures.”
A sickening part of me wanted her to feel the pain I felt at that moment, the ache that had nagged at me until I’d found her.
“Why are you telling me this? Is the horrible story supposed to make me feel guilty for wanting a little space? I’m sorry about what happened to you.”
“Are you, my lovely bride? Or is it possible that you and your family wanted me dead?” I didn’t really believe she was responsible, but I did want her to understand the significance of her actions.
“How dare you. I don’t want you dead.”
“Hmmm… I hope you’re being truthful with me.” When she lifted her arm, I stopped her before she had a chance to slap me for my insufferable comments, clasping her hand with enough pressure she yelped.
“I hate you. I just… hate you. All you want is someone to control, to own. And you want to hurt me. Go ahead. If you honestly think that will change anything, then do it. I’m not certain I care any longer. This life isn’t what I thought it would be.”
“Someday you’ll need to tell me what you believed or hoped would change.” I brought her hand to my lips, placing her fingers against the cuts in my face. Tormenting her this way wasn’t anything I’d ever done before. I kissed her knuckles, letting go of her arm, forced to take another deep breath. “The story is to help you embrace the reasons why there are rules and help you understand that with every decision made, good or bad, right or wrong, there are consequences.”
I leaned further forward in my seat, surprised she didn’t try to jerk away. “What consequences would a child need to face? It wasn’t your fault.”
“My father didn’t see it that way. I endured the sound of both my brother and my mother being disciplined by my father while I was forced to listen in on their punishments. I assure you that I never forgot the horrible lesson.”
“Oh, my God. Your father was a bastard, a wife and child abuser. No wonder you’re the way you are.” Her tone was bitter.
“Think what you want, Maria, but my father knew there was a single way of getting through to all of us, a six-year-old included. Maybe my father chose his punishments well because none of us broke those kinds of rules ever again, which meant no one was ever given the chance to abduct two of my father’s children.”
“How could your mother every stand to be around him after that?”
“Because they loved each other dearly.”
She gave me an incredulous look. “Well, so much for love. In my world it’s not masked as a reason to abuse women or children.”
“Then your father was ridiculous enough to allow you to wear rose-colored glasses for far too long. Trust me, sweetheart, that I was the one who suffered the most. But I learned from every ugly vision, every worry that I’d lose my mother and brother. The experience changed our entire family. Had it not been for the woman my brother finally allowed to break through the shell he had around him, I have no doubt he’d have remained just like our father. Brutal and violent.”
“What about you? Is that what you want for whatever spawn I’m required to bring you?”
We were at a crossroads that might never be repaired. “I never wanted children, Maria. I am well aware I’d make a terrible father, but I didn’t enter into this contract with the notion that I could get out of providing an heir for your family as well as mine. You will bear my children.”
