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"I don't think so, Mary…you have no idea how hard it was to earn her trust. I knew better. I fucking knew better, but I was going to tell her. I was going to tell her everything. Our therapy appointment was only a few days away. Less than a week. I was going to tell her everything."
I was going to tell her everything.
***
Terror…
Colin's eyes went wide, seeing the body laid out in the hospital room. They were about to pull the plug on the redhead but were trying to exhaust all familial opportunities. He was their last call.
Jonathan looked over at him.
“Brother, we’re going to find her. We need you to stay strong.”
Beep….beep…..beep….
Colin's chest caved in. He couldn't breathe. He turned on his heel and walked out of the room, out of the hospital and into the night.
"Leave me the fuck alone. Get away from me!"
He turned and swung at Jonathan, who had run and caught up to him down the parking lot where he was headed for the highway.
"I'm not fucking letting you do this to yourself, you dumbass!" Jonathan roared, ducking another punch and hurling himself into Colin's torso, knocking them both over onto the concrete. Jonathan straddled Colin and gave him three almost bone shattering punches to the face.
***
Hopelessness…
Colin bowed his head, sobbing. Vanessa sank down to her knees on the floor of the living room with him as she her arms around him. She looked over his shoulder, catching Jonathan’s eyes, tears in her own.
“Vanessa, the body they found… it wasn’t her…she’s still alive,” Jonathan said gently, lowering to his knees in front of his friend.
His broken friend.
Colin clutched Vanessa tighter, groaning.
“It’s going to be okay. We’re all going to be okay,” Vanessa whispered, trying her best to soothe him. “We’re family and we’re going to make it through this.”
Her own voice broke, unsure of her words. Hoping it was true.
***
Emptiness…
“We’re done wallowing.Come with me. If you don’t, I’m calling emergency services and having you committed tonight. I mean it this time.”
Colin turned his head from his spot on the floor in his windowless room, his eyes haunted as they met Jonathan’s.
“I’m just going to let him beat the shit out of me, get it over with,” he said quietly, his voice hollow.
“Then let’s go. Alex is waiting.” Jonathan's voice was hard as he stood there above Colin. His arms were crossed and his brow remained furrowed, letting his friend know he meant business.
Jonathan waited until Colin pushed himself off the floor before exiting the room.
***
Numbness…
Colin made his way into the luxury boxing gym behind Jonathan, veering into the locker room to stash his things while Jonathan greeted the tall, well-built psychiatrist. Alone momentarily with his thoughts, he wrapped his hands quickly before pulling on his boxing gloves, trying to think of something, anything other than his missing wife.
