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“Just what, baby? Tell me?”
“I—I’ve never done anything like this before.”
I feel a little light-headed, and I drop to my elbows, studying her perfect face. “This might sound like an odd question, given where we are, and what we’ve been doing, but do you mind if I ask how old you are?”
She smiles. “I’m twenty-four.”
“And you’ve never done anything before? Nothing at all?”
“No,” she says, tipping her head slightly to her right. “Do you mind if I ask how old you are?”
“Thirty-four.”
“And is that a problem for you?” she asks. “My extreme youth and inexperience, I mean?”
There’s a slight smirk on her lips, and I have to smile as I close the gap and kiss her, just gently. “What do you think?” I say, letting my lips linger for a second or two before I raise myself above her. “We don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for, Zara.”
“The problem is, when you kiss me like that, I really want to be ready, but…”
“Hey… it’s okay. I’ll wait.”
She sighs. “Are you sure?”
“I’m positive.”
“Is that something you’ve done before… wait for someone, I mean?”
I lower myself to my elbows again, caressing her cheek with my fingertips. “I’ve only ever been with Sabrina, and yeah, we waited.”
“You did? Why?”
“Because, like I said, we were fifteen when we started dating.”
She nods her head. “Oh, so you waited for it to be legal?”
“We did.”
“And was that the only reason?”
“Yeah.”
“Was it a mutual decision?” she asks, and I kiss her, because I need to keep it real. I need to remind myself of where I am now, not where I was then, when Sabrina and I had been together for a couple of months and she used to tease me, to goad me into fucking her, even though she hadn’t turned sixteen yet. I had – just – but that didn’t make it right, no matter what she said, or did.
“No, it was my decision,” I say, eventually. “And we need to stop talking about her.”
“Sorry. That was my fault. Again.”
“It’s okay. I don’t mind answering your questions, and I don’t wanna have any secrets from you.”
“I don’t have any secrets to keep.” We both chuckle, our bodies shaking, and I gaze into her eyes. “Are you sure you don’t mind waiting?” she asks, biting on her bottom lip.
“Positive.” I free it with my thumb as I lean closer, our tongues meeting and flickering for a while before our lips touch, and I feel her arms come up around my neck, her fingers twisting into my hair. “It’s gonna be such sweet torture,” I whisper. “But you’ll be worth it.”
“I hope so.”
“Oh… I know so.”
I kiss her again, harder and deeper than before, and she knots her fingers in my hair, pulling me down. If I’m going to wait, I can’t keep doing this for too long, and after a couple of minutes, I have to stop.
