Page 102 of Under His Guard

“Yes.”

“And you fucked it up? You pissed her off, and she ran.”

I clench my jaw so hard it cracks. “Yeah.”

“Before I offer my thoughts…” Dom knows better than to call it advice when talking to me. “I need you to answer one more thing, and you better be fucking honest.”

Another massive chug of dear old Sam Adams. “Fine.”

“Do you truly care about this woman? Is this the real deal?”

I’ve been avoiding thinking about it.

There’s a lot of fucking baggage that comes with truly dating someone, with wanting to be with them for the long haul.

Clara’s face appears in my mind, those green eyes and full lips. But moreover, I hear her words, how she tried to talk to me about everything that was going on.

And how I wouldn’t let her in.

I don’t feel guilty about my life choices very often. Except for what happened overseas.

But right now, I’d do anything to take back that fight, and I think that means something.

“Yeah, I really do. I…the nightmares are bad, Dom. I didn’t…I should have told her, but instead…”

Another heavy sigh from Dom, and I feel like I’m being painfully exposed. My heart hammers against my ribcage, and I’m actually nauseated.

“Fucking hell, Luke. I thought you were talking to someone about it?”

I scowl, gripping the glass bottle till my knuckles turn white.

“Didn’t work.”

“It’s not a damn spot remover, asshole. It’s going to take time. That’s the whole thing of it. Plus, you can’t fucking do this without at least trying to move on from the past.”

“Dom, I?—”

“Can it. I’m not saying it’s unexpected you’d feel shitty about what happened, because honestly, it’d be super fucking heartless if you didn’t. What I’m saying is, acknowledge it and then try to live your life.”

I hear the creak of a door in the background and then Chloe’s hushed voice.

“Babe, you coming?”

“I’ll be right there, hon.”

My heart pinches, and it’s hearing them like that—just so normal—that makes it really hit home.

I do want that, and I want it with Clara.

“Look, I need to go.” Dom whips out his dad voice. “But do yourself a damn favor and get help. Stop drinking so much, talk to a damn therapist, and get your shit together. You can’t protect her like this. And give her some space. Coming in like gangbusters after a fight isn’t usually the way to go.”

“She’s out there alone, Dom. What if something happens?”

“Then you better be in a place to handle it.”

I sigh. I hate it when my brother is right.

“I love you, Luke. You’re my dumb shit kid brother, but I swear, I just want you to be okay. To be happy.”

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