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“Agnes will find a mate, and he will take care of her. He will suffer, so she doesn’t have to.”
Oh, he had sparked my temper. So much so that I was eyeballing the knife he used to prepare my breakfast. “Agnes doesn’t want a mate; she wants to study biology. I didn’t want a mate. I wanted the fog!”
My words, my rage, my snarls and booms, they did nothing but encourage the man to smile. A dark thing that made it clear he gained further ground in the battle between us.
Too late, I realized my slip. I said wanted the fog. Past tense.
“You are a terrible person, Cyderial.” And the idea of sinking my claws right into his eyes was very appealing. “Don’t play word games with me unless you’re ready to face the consequences of having to put me down, over and over, until my hearts grow so hard I will never be able to love you.”
“Someday, your craving for the fog will fade, and I will be at your side, taking care of you, challenging you, and keeping you happy in every possible way.”
He was trying to distract me from the very obvious consequences of my video with his underhanded tactics, and I wasn’t having it. “If my public meltdown encourages more humans to carry hybrid offspring, that would only mean there would be more children suffering in the academy. And it would ultimately be my fault. It’s in direct opposition to what I want for my friends.”
“You do not have the monopoly on loving our people. Remember that.” He dared run a finger down my jaw, admiring me like I was some work of art. “You already know there is only one immediate answer to the issue of how children are treated within the academy, don’t you, my love?”
Cocking an eyebrow, I gave him a harsh glare, and snarled, “Assignment as the weapons instructor to babies? Do you remember what those classes are like? What you’re ordering me to do to children I know and love?”
“Even a small change is an improvement, and they will forgive you when they grow up.” Said with such simplicity by a man who executed children right in front of me.
Forgive me when they grew up? My head fell into my hands, a weighty sigh warming the flesh of my palms. “I have terms, if you want me to even consider such a monstrosity. The older female recruits will be given education about mates and sex. No unmated female should ever be forced into a bond while blind to the reality of her situation. It’s wrong on every level, Cyderial. Hybrid men are hurting us just as much as the humans are. You must acknowledge that. It is wrong to raise us for your pleasure, leaving us to think we had any choice in the matter of who will claim us in the end.”
“I do not have the power to give you this.”
Then what use was he to me? Peeking through my fingers, I saw only my enemy—the general who plagued my days for a decade.
My hateful glower did not upset him in the slightest. He knew to expect it, to be gentle with me when I was agitated and aggressive. Calm, he did not insult me with a purr, though he did speak delicately. “If you want sex education for females, you must convince the friends I would introduce you to this evening. Show them it would be in their best interest to bond with knowledgeable mates they won’t have to frighten or force the first time. But know this—men who have not heard the song will be less amenable to your ideas. As of now, most generals have no reason to give you something that will not benefit them. Rape or not, they bond a mate regardless.”
“That is so sad.”
Stroking my cheek, Cyderial said, “I will support you, but it will risk my position as Director of the academy.”
The bite of fruit in my stomach turned sour.
“They bond a mate regardless?” My eyes fell to my swollen belly, ashamed of myself for allowing all I had. “And I am the perfect example of how quickly addicted females will succumb. Look at me. How many days has it even been? And I’m eating breakfast with you as if?—”
“Stop right there.” He flicked my chin up and made me meet his eyes. “You have a goal. Focus on progress. Don’t waste your time wallowing in whatever narrative is making you frown like that.”
But I was angry and possessed a comforting knack for rebellion. “I could just leak information on mating into the female dorm.”
“You can’t cheat on every test, sweetheart. Hints lead to rumor. Misinformation would spread to a detriment to all. Sometimes, you have to actually show the world what you’re made of. Take on the men. They don’t stand a chance against you.” He stole a kiss, his tongue tracing my lips for a quick taste of pink fruit. “And if you were wise, you would focus on General Thayer. He will give you whatever you want, if you support him in wooing Maeve.”
6
The sly smirk on Cyderial’s face each time I began to fidget was a clear sign he was quite proud of his work. Managing a belly while trying to just sit comfortably was unusual to the extreme. The ramrod spine and perfect posture required at the academy was impossible like this. I had to lounge, make myself vulnerable in order to sink into the plush chair Cyderial prepared for me. Such indolent behavior went against an entire life trained for vigilance. Made me anxious as the male fluffed pillows and placed them to support the unnatural arch in my back. It was all the stranger when a blanket so soft I could not begin to imagine what it was made of was laid over my lap.
In my hands, a fresh magazine full of forbidden female things Cyderial offered, if only I might sit in his company while he read.
Of course, I snatched it out of his fingers and clutched it to my chest like he might take it away.
Reading it? Every minute felt like sin.
“Enjoying your magazine?”
Yes! I read it cover-to-cover twice. Now, I was analyzing each photo, sucking up every modern style I might want to try later. But my answer was reserved. “I like it.”
“You seem agitated.” Yet he said it with a knowing smile.
I couldn’t help it. It was the luxury, the strangeness of nonsexual intimacy with someone I didn’t trust. But mostly, it was the plug. Hours passed since breakfast, and I was still very swollen, my stomach bulbous, and I was nervous that it was not fading as it seemed it should.
