AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Both Rico and our father now turn to Kaden as well, blinking in surprise. Kaden just looks back at them with that customary blank expression on his face.
“Did you know?” Dad demands.
Of course he did. He always does, somehow. He even tried to confront me about it last year.
“Yes,” Kaden simply replies.
“What the fuck,” Eli says at the same time as Dad grinds out, “Then why didn’t you say anything?”
Because I told him that I would shoot him in the head if he finished the sentence.
But Kaden doesn’t tell them that. Instead, he just meets my eyes briefly before shifting his gaze back to the rest of our family. He lifts his shoulders in a casual shrug. “Because it wasn’t my place to say.”
Rico, who looked like he had been about to say something, just closes his mouth again and nods. Eli does too. Because they understand. We don’t force each other to talk about stuff until we’re ready. And we don’t share secrets with outsiders. Including our parents.
But Dad does not look satisfied by that answer. Displeasure flickers in his blue eyes as he fixes Kaden with a sharp stare. “For how long?”
“I’ve suspected it for about five years,” Kaden admits. “And I’ve known for certain for a little over a year.”
Five years? He has known how I feel about this for five years? That’s news to me. I flick a glance at my brother again. He meets my gaze briefly, but neither of us say anything. Most people assume that Kaden is a pure psychopath who doesn’t understand emotions. But I know that he can actually read them better than anyone.
“Fucking hell,” Dad curses under his breath. He rubs a hand over his face before dragging it through his brown hair. Then he fixes me with a look full of disappointment. “You don’t want to be a hitman. Why?”
“It’s not?—”
“Is it because you don’t want to kill people?”
“It’s not that.”
“It’s too dangerous?”
“Too dangerous?” I scowl at him. “Have you met me?”
“Too complicated then?”
“No. I can plan assassinations just fine.”
“Then what the hell is the problem?”
“I just want a fucking choice!” I scream, the words tearing out from the very depths of my soul.
Dad draws back and blinks in surprise.
“I want a fucking choice,” I repeat. My chest heaves, and fear and anger and panic rip through my chest again.
He shakes his head slowly, confusion once more marring his brows. “I don’t understand.”
“It’s not that I hate the concept of being a hitman,” I explain. “I like the violence. The chaos. The power. But I hate that I don’t have a choice.”
Next to me, I can feel my brothers watching me. But none of them interrupt. Dad just continues staring at me, his mouth slightly open in surprise and befuddlement.
“I want to choose what I do with my life,” I say. “I want to decide my own future. But I can’t. Because I’m a Hunter, and that means that I must become a hitman. Whether I want to or not.” Holding his stare, I shake my head. “So what’s the fucking point? I can’t choose my own life, so why even bother with it? It doesn’t matter. Nothing fucking matters. So why the hell should I care if I never show up to class or pick unnecessary fights or that my professors think I smell like alcohol?”
The silence that descends over the neatly furnished study is so loud that I can practically hear it ringing between the dark wooden walls.
For quite a while, no one says anything. Once again, I can feel my brothers watching me. But I keep my eyes on our father. Indecision swirls in his eyes.
Then, at last, he breaks the crackling silence.
