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“Oh shit. Earbuds. You were gonna make a call. And I’ve gotta…” He jumps off the bed and spins in a circle, grabbing a ball cap off his desk that I’m certain he wasn’t actually looking for. “I’ll meet you for dinner in thirty.”
Suddenly I’m alone, and while I feel somewhat like I’ve chased him out, I’m glad for the opportunity to talk to my parents without wondering if I’m making him uncomfortable.
***
Where the hell is he?
I check the clock on my phone, wondering what could possibly be keeping Liam away from our room. We always go to dinner together, usually at the same time since he gets hangry easily.
Clicking on the App Store so I’m not literally staring at numbers that don’t move fast enough, I scroll through the games I could download. Candy Crush, Oregon Trail, Solitaire. That seems harmless enough.
While I wait for it to download, I wonder again what could be keeping my roommate from his evening meal.
He’s been pretty scarce all weekend actually, passing on my game invite, dinner with my folks, and some welcome picnic thing with all sorts of food and games. I get that hanging out with your roommate’s parents might be a little awkward, so it’s fine that he turned me down. Except, he didn’t even want to meet them, going so far as to invent a test he had to study for instead of agreeing to a quick hello.
Too bad he claimed the test was for biology, which Jagger and Cameron have with him, and they didn’t know anything about any test. It bugs me that Liam wasn't honest, but I haven’t confronted him about it.
The progress bar completes its circular loop, signaling the download is finished, so I open the game and start clicking through the stack of cards. Within the first minute I’ve already lost since I was too busy mindlessly tapping the screen instead of actually looking at the cards.
Clearly, my roommate has some issues when it comes to parents—all parents, from the looks of it—and I’d like nothing more than to understand why that is so I can help, or at least be there for him. I’ve got no right to demand answers though, considering I haven’t exactly been forthcoming about my background either.
I’m less obvious about my secrets, but I have them, so it’d be pretty hypocritical of me to try to force Liam into talking about something personal when I’m not exactly baring my soul. Still, after living together for just shy of two months, it’s evident something about his folks is eating away at him, and what started as mild curiosity about his history has morphed into concern after these past few days leading up to parent’s weekend.
I start another game, paying even less attention to it than I did the first round.
Liam’s been quiet all week. Distant. Temperamental. And yeah, he can be all those things on an average day, but he doesn’t seem to get stuck in those moods for hours on end. It’s more he’ll see or hear something that takes his mind in that direction for a few minutes and then it passes, or he moves on from it. This last week though, he was in a perpetual state of ‘meh.’
He'd told me no one was coming to visit him and I assumed it was related. That was until I saw the dry erase board on our door this morning. It usually contains notes from our hall neighbors or the occasional reminder about upcoming events, but today the RA had written ‘Happy Birthday Liam.’
Everything clicked when I saw that note. Not only did his family skip a weekend to see him, they skipped seeing him on his birthday.
Who knows why they aren’t here—I know literally nothing about them—but the way Liam’s been acting leads me to believe there’s no good reason for them to be absent this weekend. And my heart breaks for the guy.
I lose another hand, which gives me an excuse to check the time. Fifteen minutes have passed. On a normal day that wouldn’t concern me. On his birthday, though? Knowing he’s alone? Who knows what he could get into.
My finger clicks on the messages icon to send him another text, but before I start typing I go back to the game. I already sent two, if he planned to answer he’d have done it by now. Right?
Looking at Liam you’d assume he’s a strong, smart, capable person who doesn’t need anyone to look out for him. In a lot of ways that’s true. But as his roommate, I’ve seen him when his guard is down. I’ve had a few glimpses of the guy underneath that tough exterior, and I’m pretty certain he’s not independent by choice. I’d go so far as to say he’s lonely, in a manner of speaking, which I can relate to.
If I didn’t have my own issues, I’m not sure I’d recognize his, but I get the sense we’re two versions of the same story. For me that story involves losing Xavier, and while I’m technically surrounded by people all the time, I still feel lonely without my best friend. That makes it hard to be around Jagger and Cameron sometimes since they remind me of what I lost, although having Liam as a roommate has helped offset some of the sadness I feel from watching them.
Based purely on my own issues, my guess is Liam has the same sort of thing going on with his family—like they’re more of a memory than a reality—and he doesn’t want to be reminded of that, which is why he’s tried so hard to avoid mine. Knowing they didn’t show up on his birthday makes me even more confused and angry on his behalf.
Liam is a good guy. Private, maybe a touch jaded, but a good guy. He deserves better, which is why I stopped by the bookstore on my way back to our room to get him a lacrosse decal for his Jeep. It’s not much, but at least it’s something, and everyone needs a gift on their first birthday away from home. Only he wasn’t here when I got back, and that was nearly two hours ago. It’s been radio silence ever since, which has never happened before. I’m kind of worried.
Maybe one more text isn’t out of line?
Xavier used to tease me about my habit of playing protector, something I think started when we were kids playing flag football. I was bigger than most of my friends, so that role came naturally. Once my peers caught up to me in size—mostly—and could handle themselves, I’d been so used to looking out for them on and off the field, that it stuck.
For years my tendency to watch over my friends amused Xavier, but when he started dating, he had less patience for it. The fact I was concerned about his girlfriend’s motives probably didn’t help matters, but I genuinely wanted what was best for him and worried on his behalf.
At this point, worrying about my friends is just who I am, and I don’t know how to turn that off. I’m trying to keep that to myself though, so I don’t overwhelm anyone with that little personality quirk. On the surface, I think I’m pulling that off. Underneath though… Three texts isn’t going overboard, is it?
More than forty minutes after we usually head to dinner, the door finally opens. ‘Happy birthday’ dies on my lips when Liam comes into full view.
“Oh my God! What happened?” I spring off the bed to hold the door, so he doesn’t have to use the arm sporting a new cast to keep it from shutting on him.
“You know how the sidewalk is divided into walking and biking lanes?”
