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There’s a demon inside him, and my crazy ass accepted all of him.
I hold my belly and tears start to well up.
He killed Marco. He caused my nightmares. He was able to stab him six times through a car seat and find a way to live unbothered the next day.
I’m marrying a monster.
I’m harboring a monster’s child.
What have I become?
I think of Marco’s lively persona. He didn’t have that killer instinct side like Donny does. He was all smiles and booze and women. Was he perfect? Far from it. Did I love him? Hmm. Not really. Nothing like the love I have for Donny. But that doesn’t mean he deserved to die.
And what the hell does that make me if I’m going to marry his killer?
I think of the women downstairs as I cry harder. They’re accessories to murder. The epitome of turning a blind eye so they can live their lavish lifestyles with their dangerous men. And I’m the queen of them all.
Fuck. I scratch at my arm. Then bile starts to come up. Fast.
I crawl to the toilet and vomit into it. I spit out the leftover phlegm and cough hard to the point I’m scared I’ll burst a vessel.
Somehow, I have to keep it together and face the girls again. I pull myself up and look in the mirror. I’m a mess.
Just having a rough day, I tell myself. You’ll get over it.
You have a beautiful wedding to plan.
Again, the image of Marco’s dead body comes roaring back to life. Then Marty’s shocked expression when I shot him. Don Gio’s smug face right before he died. I’m surrounded by murder. And I’d buried it deep, hoping it would never surface again.
I can’t do this.
If I kick the girls out now, they’ll know something’s up. What if the whole family ends up suspecting I’m pregnant? A little sickness at the thought of blood is one thing… Being green around the gills when I hadn’t touched the wine I poured for myself…
I can’t have that. After some deep breaths, I fix up my running eyeliner and rinse with mouthwash so I’m presentable.
Down the stairs I go. “Who wants more wine?” I say with a smile.
I get through the rest of the day with a pit in my stomach, feeling like this can’t be good for the baby. It gets me more agitated, and when they finally leave, it feels like a weight has been lifted.
I scream into one of the decorative pillows, and I’m glad Sabrina’s at the other house today. I need to let it out somewhere.
Donny’s car pulls up, and my heart sinks further. I keep envisioning him stabbing Marco through the seat and can’t help but see how connected my whole mess of a life is.
He walks in with a smile, looking so good in his brand new tailored suit. “You’d be proud of me today, Ellie. I didn’t do one collection. I outsourced it all.” He laughs and throws his keys on the counter.
I look at him with disdain, and his face drops.
“What’s wrong? Is it the baby?” He’s worried.
I shake my head as more tears come. “I can’t do this, Donny. I just can’t.”
Chapter 25
Donny
What is with this woman? I’ve been doing nothing but showering her with praise since the engagement. The sex has been phenomenal, she’s integrated into the crew, I got her father on board, and we’re planning a fucking wedding.
So why is she giving me shit right now?
