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PROLOGUE
EVERY NOISE MADE her jump like she’d been zapped with a cattle prod—footsteps, muffled voices, the distant ringing of cell phones, even the frequent chirp of her monitors. Each sound grated on her, scraping exposed nerves with sandpaper and bringing her one inch closer to her ultimate limit.
The pain medicine she’d received flowed through her veins, giving her a floaty, out-of-body sensation, but it wasn’t enough to combat the edgy anxiety keeping her on high alert. Fear lingered like an uninvited houseguest who refused to leave. The kind that drove a person crazy and demanded attention twenty-four hours a day.
If she’d had her way, the doctors would have doubled the dose of whatever narcotic they’d given her. She wanted more than the recommended amount for pain control—enough to knock her out so she could exist in oblivion until the trauma faded.
If it faded.
Lying there in the uncomfortable hospital bed, Kelsie couldn’t fathom a future where she made peace with what she’d suffered. In the few hours since she’d been rescued from the depths of hell and whisked to a hospital, she’d been told by no less than fifteen people to “give it time.”
As though time would erase the traumatic memories.
As though it would remove the pain, humiliation, and fear.
As though time could change anything.
Nothing would dim the horror of what they’d done to her. Not time, not the damn pain meds, not the heroic people who’d rescued and delivered her to the hospital, promising to stay by her side as long as she needed them. Everyone wanted to help, but no one could turn back the clock to the day before she accepted her first date in years.
The door creaked as it swung ajar, making her jolt. One of the women who’d accompanied her to the hospital poked her head in. Her boyfriend or husband belonged to the motorcycle club that had discovered her when they’d come for their friend, who’d also been kidnapped. Fortunately, the bikers knew she’d gone missing and found her before things passed the point of no return. Kelsie hadn’t been so lucky. No big family of bikers waited in the wings, worrying when she vanished.
“Hey, sweetie, I got some ice water for you.”
She’d requested water from the endlessly kind and patient Harper to get rid of her for a few moments. Not that Kelsie wasn’t grateful for the support, but she hadn’t had a moment alone since the rescue. They’d probably done that on purpose, afraid for her fragile mental state since she’d nearly stabbed one of the men who’d come to save her. But she was accustomed to being alone and craved a few moments of solitude. A few seconds to stop pretending she was okay.
She wasn’t okay and wouldn’t ever be again.
Those were just the facts.
“Thank you,” she said to Harper as the other woman set the plastic pitcher on the room's rolling table.
“Let me pour you some.” Harper filled a Styrofoam cup with icy water and then dropped in a bendable straw. “Here you go.” She reached across the narrow table to hand the water over.
“Thank you.” Kelsie accepted the cup. The frigid liquid felt sublime as it slipped down her scratchy throat. When was the last time she’d had a drink? Sometime yesterday, maybe. She’d shared a child-sized paper cup of warm water with Brenna, the woman who’d been held in captivity with her. They had an IV pumping her full of the good stuff, but the taste of water satisfied in a way that couldn’t.
“Of course,” Harper said with an easy smile. “Anything you need.”
Anything she needed. If only that were possible. Right now, she only needed one thing—to turn back time to the moment one week ago when she’d ignored her instincts and accepted a date with a man named Oliver. A man who’d drugged her wine while she’d used the restroom during dinner, allowing her to be easily abducted.
“Kelsie?”
She jumped and then blinked. “Sorry. Did you say something?”
At some point, while Kelsie zoned out, Harper sat in the rock-hard chair next to the bed.
The smile Harper wore held patience and empathy, two things she seemed to have in spades. Kelsie almost felt guilty for wishing the woman would leave. Harper didn’t deserve Kelsie trying to get rid of her, but right then, she didn’t have the capacity to care fully.
“I just wanted to let you know that your entire care team knows you are only comfortable with female providers. They will make sure all staff who interact with you, from nurses to housekeeping and everyone in between, are women.”
“Oh.” Kelsie’s eyes flooded as shame set in. There she’d been wishing this kind and generous woman would go the hell home, and Harper had been out making sure Kelsie was taken care of. “Thank you,” she croaked.
“You’re very welcome.” Again, with the empathetic smile, it was as though Harper could crawl inside Kelsie’s head and take a good look around at the horror show.
But no one knew the nightmare reel playing on repeat, not even Brenna, who’d been locked in an underground room with Kelsie for days. Kelsie would live with her demons alone.
“I wouldn’t have stabbed him,” she blurted, even though she didn’t fully believe her own words. When the cavalry came, and the fierce biker burst into her cell, her first instinct had been to protect herself.
To fight.
