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“N-n-no,” Kelsie managed to get out despite hyperventilating. “D-don’t l-l-leave.”
What? Why the hell wouldn’t she want them to go? Their presence is what set her off.
He glanced at Jinx, who looked torn between bolting and granting Kelsie her request. He shook his head and shrugged, arms out to his sides in a helpless gesture. “Should I go?” he mouthed.
Ty didn’t know what to say, so he focused his attention back on Kelsie.
“C-count… five…” she rasped.
“What?” God, at the very least, he wanted to rub her back, but he curled his fingers into tight fists and resisted.
The panic attack seemed to last forever when, in reality, it couldn’t have been more than a few minutes. Each second felt like taking a punch to the head with his damn hands tied behind his back. He wanted to go back in time and kill the men who’d hurt her all over again. Then tack their bodies to the clubhouse door as a warning to any man who wanted to lay a hand on her.
She started mumbling words he could barely make out. He caught a few—men, leather, tables.
“She’s grounding,” Spec whispered.
Ty glanced at his brother.
“It’s a technique to pull her out of the panic attack. You name things you can smell, hear, see.”
It needed to work faster. Ty was going to claw his skin off if he had to watch her suffer much longer.
“I can do this,” she finally said, still breathing hard but able to speak clearly now. “I need to do this.” With each passing word, her voice grew stronger. She straightened, the tremor in her hands obvious, but she held her ground. “I need to be able to be near men. It’s not possible to avoid them. It’s just a fact of life.” She met his gaze. “You’ve promised me I’m safe here and so have the ladies. I-I trust you, so I’ll start here.” She shifted her attention to Jinx and Spec who still hovered near the kitchen. They’d relaxed their postures and now watched Kelsie with awe in their expressions. “If-if you don’t mind the occasional panic attack and promise not to touch me at all, please don’t leave. I need to beat this.” Her voice caught, and she whispered. “I need a win.”
Jinx and Spec's expressions changed from shock to admiration. Ever the fun-loving guy whose goal was to make people around him have a good time, Jinx spoke first. “Darlin’, if you’re worried a few panic attacks are gonna scare away this crew, you can rest easy. When I tell you you won’t meet a group with more head issues, you can trust I mean it. Every one of us is fucked in the noggin for some reason or another. We consider it an A-plus day if the least that happens is a few panic attacks.”
Spec laughed. “The man speaks the truth. We are a messed-up bunch of misfits. But I can promise you one thing… you’ve never been safer around a group of men than you are here. We’re loud, we’re gruff, and we can be more terrifying than the devil when necessary, but that will never be turned on you, Kelsie. Not fucking ever.”
Goddamn, he loved his brothers.
Some of the strain visibly evaporated from Kelsie. She exhaled a long stream of air, straightened her shoulders, and inhaled a deep, steady breath. “Okay then,” she said, voice still wavering a smidge. “I’m going to conquer this fear.”
A surge of pride rose in Ty, so strong it almost took him to his knees. The powerful feeling matched the gratitude he felt for his brothers. It was then he realized how mortally wrong he’d been. In the hospital, he’d accused Kelsie of being weak and doing something stupid. But he was beyond wrong. Kelsie was strong, one of the strongest women he’d met. There she stood in the face of her fear, battling with every ounce of courage and might, determined to regain the part of herself she’d lost.
Whatever monster drove her to take such a drastic measure as to attempt to end her own life must have been unfathomable. Even more devastating than the suffering he was aware of, Ty vowed to find out what haunted her and eliminate it. She had so many years ahead of her and deserved to live them in peace.
“Now that we have that settled,” Jinx said, walking a few steps into the room without coming too close to Kelsie. “How about some coffee? You two look like you were dragged across the farm by gators.”
A flicker of a smile ghosted Kelsie’s lips. She was pale and tense but present. “Tequila.”
Jinx snorted. “Well, shit, then I guess we’re lucky we didn’t find you two crazy kids naked on that couch, huh?”
Ty whipped his gaze toward Jinx. For fuck’s sake, five seconds in, and he was making raunchy jokes toward a woman who’d been traumatized by men. He’d be having words with the idiot later.
But instead of sending Kelsie back into a panic attack, Jinx’s joke had her snorting out a laugh. She slapped a hand over her mouth as another giggle erupted.
Jinx beamed as though he’d won the lottery. The man lived to entertain and would no doubt make it his life’s mission to make Kelsie love him.
“Coffee sounds perfect,” Ty said.
The door to the kitchen opened again, and this time, Harper came in, followed closely by Liv. Harper wore a pair of navy blue joggers and a fitted T-shirt, but as usual, Liv looked ready for the catwalk in a simple sundress that probably cost more than his customers spent on a set of tires.
“Kelsie!” Harper’s jaw dropped, and her wary gaze bounced between the three men. “What’s going on here?”
“What do you mean, babe?” Jinx asked as he threw his giant arm across Harper’s shoulders and tugged her close. “We were just chatting. Spec offered to get everyone coffee.”
Spec snorted and flipped Jinx off.
