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“Probably should. But like you told me, you give as much as you take. I think you’d give me more, while I’d take more than I could give. That’s not a fair deal.”
“I think you’re an idiot,” Amanda bit off. “Maybe I’d be better off with Noah. It’ll sure as hell be better than trying to make you see that maybe…” Amanda took a deep breath to control her anger, because she wouldn’t shed a tear for Gene Rowland if he could walk away from her this easily. “Maybe what you’re looking for is right in front of you.”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I just want you to be happy in the long run.”
Amanda bit her trembling lip to stop herself from saying what she thought about that statement. For a smart doctor, Gene could be pretty stupid when he got caught up in his self-righteousness.
“Do you even hear yourself?” Amanda stopped herself from arguing further and turned to leave. “I hope you’ll figure out what you want, Gene. And I hope it won’t be too late.”
“Why do smart men always do the stupidest shit sometimes?” Patrick shook his head in disbelief before taking a gulp of his beer.
Gene gave the other man the side eye. “Are you including yourself?”
The two of them met up at a local cop bar Patrick had picked. His friend didn’t wait too long to tell him what he thought about what had happened with Amanda.
“Nah. I barely graduated high school,” Patrick said with a laugh. “What I do have is survival instinct. I learned to assess the situation I’m in, and can either adapt and live, or die fighting. I don’t overthink stuff.” Patrick pointed at Gene with an amused twist on his lips. “And you, my friend, overthink too much.”
“I do not,” Gene denied. “There’s no time to overthink in the ER. I assess the situation, figure out what the best course of action is, or someone may lose a limb, an organ, or their life.”
Patrick’s eyebrow rose in question. “Is that what you did just now with Amanda?”
“Yeah, actually.” Gene said indignantly. “I saw that guy and I thought, fuck, here’s a perfect guy who obviously likes her. And from what Jo was saying, Amanda enjoyed their dates. If I hadn’t stumbled into her life, they would’ve gone on their third date.”
“And lived happily ever after?” Patrick suggested with a straight face.
“If I didn’t take the Hippocratic oath, I’d be tempted to break your nose again,” Gene mock-threatened his friend.
They hadn’t been on the same side of the tracks growing up, and there had been a point where they’d clashed. Gene had thought Patrick had been a troublemaker. Patrick hadn’t been kidding about barely graduating from high school.
Patrick half-grinned as he rubbed his slightly crooked nose.
“It never healed quite right, but it gave my face an edge. The ladies seem to like it.”
“I guess you should’ve thanked me.”
“I owe you for more than that.”
Gene understood what he meant. Patrick could’ve been expelled in junior year for beating up another student. But Gene had witnessed what had happened. Patrick had called out Corey O’Hara for forcing his attention on Barbara Dempsey. Corey had thrown the first punch, but Patrick had been the better fighter. Gene backing Patrick up in the principal’s office had been the only thing that stopped Mr. Barnes from kicking him out of school altogether. Then there was that year after the war.
“You owe me nothing, Pat,” Gene said.
“Well, I thank you anyhow.” Patrick bumped his glass against Gene’s. “You’ve done a lot for me over the years, bud. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you. And here I am, alive, feeling somewhat normal, working a job where I can use my skills that I actually enjoy.”
“That’s good to hear, man. But you did it. It’s all you.”
“Nah, you gave me the push I needed to get out of that hole when I returned from Iraq,” Patrick said. “Now, it looks like you need someone to help you see your error ways. I mean, what the fuck, dude?”
“I’m leaving in three months, okay?” Gene bit off. “Then I don’t know what I’ll be doing. That guy can offer Amanda things I don’t have right now.”
“Which is what?”
“Stability, time, a life.” Gene listed with his fingers, exasperated now.
“From what I can see, Amanda already has all of those,” Patrick pointed out. “Sounds to me you’re the one who can use a bit of stability, time, and a life. And she’s the one who has plenty to offer. But you blew that off when you told that fine woman she should date some other guy. Man, who does that?” Patrick questioned, as if Gene was nuts. “You may be a doctor, but you don’t have to be a martyr. Don’t sacrifice your chance for happiness on a 'maybe.' And that guy was definitely a low-maybe at best, from the way she responded to him. How could you not see that?”
Gene swallowed the mouthful of beer slowly, letting the hops wash the bitter bile from his throat.
With a shake of his head, he stubbornly said, “It’s for the best.”
