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“But your private life includes me, and me being Tavy’s best friend means we’re both lying to her and sneaking around and I don’t like it.”
“Then we should tell her, because you and I both know this is turning into something real.” When I didn’t reply, he said, “Good night, Logan.”
The line went dead.
I tossed my phone aside and then fell back onto the bed, my legs still hanging off the mattress.
My mind was a whirl.
Is Smoke right?
I was fresh off a breakup. An intense breakup with a man who’d fucked with my head for longer than I cared to admit. A man who had a temper, a man who made me walk on eggshells for fear of upsetting him.
Smoke was the opposite of Knox in every way.
Good humored, easy to be with, in tune with my body.
I knew it wasn’t just sex.
I’d realized that after we’d gotten stuck in the motel and were finally able to get back on the road.
We’d shared things with each other; personal things that you didn’t go around telling strangers. And even though Smoke and I hadn’t known each other long, there was something about him that made me feel safe enough to discuss private thoughts that I usually guarded.
“Fuck,” I whispered.
I liked him. I liked him in and out of bed.
The person I’d usually talk to about this sort of thing was Tavy—and once again my brain looped around in an attempt to dissuade me.
I knew enough about psychology to know that my mind was designed to keep me feeling safe and in a pattern I recognized.
But what was my heart saying?
And was it loud enough to drown out the noise?
* * *
I finally rolled out of bed at 6:00 AM after not having fallen into a deep enough sleep. Not only had I tossed and turned, but I couldn’t get comfortable. I was hot, then cold. Just as I’d fall asleep, adrenaline would spike and wake me up.
So I went to the gym and pushed myself hard on the treadmill. Unfortunately, it did nothing to quiet my brain.
I looked at my phone far more often than was healthy, hoping I had a text from Smoke even though I knew it was better if we broke off all contact.
Distance was necessary. This thing with Smoke needed to die. Not just to preserve my relationship with Tavy, but also to safeguard my heart.
He was easy to fall in love with.
I wiped down the machine, grabbed my stuff, and left.
The café was busy when I got there and I didn’t want to wait for coffee. The lack of sleep made my head throb. What I really needed was a shower and a nap, not caffeine.
I showered and threw on a tank top before settling back into bed. My eyes closed and I passed out.
My ringing phone woke me.
With a groan and a crack of my eyelids, I looked at the alarm clock. I’d slept two hours, but it wasn’t enough.
I grabbed my phone and saw it was Tavy. “Hello?”
