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I couldn’t help the smirk that formed on my lips. On one hand, I knew I should say no.
But something changed between us on that couch. Dawson had told me flat out he... liked me.
And then he fucking kissed me.
Thing was, I wanted to do exactly what he was asking. I wanted to crawl into bed with Dawson, and the last thing I wanted to do was sleep. But I was also sated from the sugar and tired from the drop in adrenaline from everything that had happened. So I really didn’t have the energy to fight with him.
“Fine,” I said, letting out a yawn.
“Really?” he said, a little surprised. “I thought you’d fight me on it, at least a little bit.”
“Too tired to argue,” I said as I sauntered over to him. “You going to show me where the magic happens or am I going to have to find it myself?” I asked as I stared up at him. Dawson’s sexy grin spread wide on his face, making my entire body blush.
“Follow me, champ,” he said as he turned to lead me down the hall. My heart beat loudly in my ears every step we took toward his bedroom, and that was when it hit me.
That this, sleeping with Dawson, was actually a reality, and that made me nervous.
Not because of his implications, or because of what I wanted, but because I’d literally fantasized about this moment for two years, and now that it was here, a reality, I wasn’t sure what to actually do.
Fucking hell.
Dawson started to undress as we entered his room, the light coming on almost immediately.
He definitely wasn’t kidding about the size of the bed. It looked big enough for three people, and suddenly the negative thoughts came rushing back. After all, he was Mr. March, how was I to know he didn’t have orgies back at his place on the regular?
But something told me, that wasn’t the case, and I decided to go with my gut instead of my self-sabotaging brain.
Just as he removed his shirt, his gaze caught mine.
“You okay, Harding?” he asked, pulling me from my thoughts. My gaze settled on him standing there, shirtless, in his damn briefs, looking like a five alarm fire all on his own, and my stomach twisted in knots.
“Yeah, I just...”
Dawson walked over to me, half naked without a care.
The way he stopped in front of me, how he set his palm against my cheek, thumb brushing along my jaw, fixing those golden eyes on me made me feel like I was about to become a puddle on the floor.
“Hey, I meant what I said. We don’t... we don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with. I don’t expect anything from you. I want to take care of you.”
The natural inclination to debunk his sweetness pestered me from inside my psyche, but I fought it.
I didn’t want to ruin this moment with my anxiety and self-esteem issues. So instead of asking why, I nodded.
“Okay,” I said as I let Dawson lead me to his bed like a lamb to the slaughter.
He pulled down the covers, waiting for me to get in. I curled up underneath them, in his sweatpants. I had opted not to borrow a pair of underwear, only because it felt weird to me to wear someone else’s underwear—let alone underwear that belonged to the man I’d fantasized about—even if it was just a formality. I’d take my clothes to the Laundromat in the morning, hit up the local Target and get some new digs to hold me over until I could get back to my apartment and back to normal.
Dawson was definitely bigger than I was in all ways that counted, so his sweatpants were a little loose on me, but not so loose they didn’t fit. They hung on my hips and I half worried they would fall down, but they seemed to hold. Though I couldn’t deny that under his covers, all cozy in those sweatpants, my balls felt spoiled as all hell. The minute my back hit his mattress, I felt a wave of stress melt away.
Dawson climbed in beside me, keeping his distance and I hated it. I didn’t want him to be so far away. It didn’t feel right. So for once, I did what I wanted to do. I did what felt right, despite the voice in my head telling me otherwise. I scooted closer and threw my arm over his hip, pulling him into me.
Dawson leaned over his shoulder, looking at me.
“Really? A brat like you doesn’t want to be the little spoon?”
I smirked at him in return even though he couldn’t see me.
“Gotta keep you guessing or else you’ll get bored,” I teased him, fixing my front to his back.
