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Eighteen
Gabriel
I had a hard time watching him walk back into that house last night. Little by little, I’m losing my composure when it comes to that man. With each and every day, he’s becoming more and more of what I never thought I wanted. I have to remind myself every time I walk away that he’s the enemy and nothing more than a pawn in my game. The more I touch and taste him, the more conflicted I become. I sit outside his house, far enough away where no one can see me. I don't know why I am here. I'm not supposed to be. I'm supposed to stick to the plan, even though I’m sure there no longer is one. Pretty sure it's all shot to hell now. My pocket vibrates, pulling me away from my thoughts. I pluck out my phone and nearly drop it when I read the message from my brother.
Carlos: Target’s name is Mateo Juventino.
My stomach becomes a cluster of knots. Someone is putting a target on Mateo's head. I don't always know who my clients are, most prefer to remain anonymous. If I dug hard enough I'm sure I'd have no issue finding out, but I usually let it go because the less I knew about who they were, the better. My brother sends another text with the date of when the job is expected to be done by.
Carlos: December 21st. No sooner or later.
Two days after Mateo's wedding. Why would someone wait until after the wedding? There can only be one reason and my gut tells me Santiago has everything to do with it. Son of a bitch.
Me: Who's the hit from?
Carlos: We don't do that, remember? The less we know about clients, the better.
Me: Sometimes there are exceptions to the rule.
Carlos: What exception would that be? You aren't fucking the target, are you?
I don't answer and I don't have to for my brother to figure it out.
Carlos: Fuck. You are, aren't you? I knew something was going on with you and the Juventinos. You know better to get involved with that family. Why would you be sleeping with the enemy?
Me: How about you just get me that name?
Carlos: No, you won't sabotage things for some piece of ass. Besides, this just means one last Juventino left in the world. I thought you would be happy about this. At least then they'll know what it feels like.
Me: It's not about that. There's something bigger going on here. Something bigger than the Juventinos.
Carlos: He got to you somehow, didn't he? I don't know how he did it, but you need to pull your head out of your ass.
Me: It's not what you think.
Carlos: Sure sounds like it. I'm not getting you that name. You're doing this job. Either you kill Mateo Juventino, or I will.
He won't touch Mateo. I’d never let him get close enough. I curse loudly at my phone, kicking at the dirt with my shoes as I walk back to my car. If he isn’t going to get me the name, I will get it myself. I'll find out who sent that hit on Mateo and there just may be a new target. No one puts a hit on what's mine.
But Mateo isn’t mine. I don’t even want him. Do I? If I didn't want him then why did I need to touch him when he was near? Why did I fall asleep to the memories of me making him fall apart in my arms? The plan was to ruin him, but he's ruining me instead. Making me weak, reckless, and stupid. Coming here tonight was a major risk. Every time I met with him was. I glance down at the gun in my holster and back at my phone. My brother’s right, we have rules we stand by. I shouldn’t break rules for one person, even though that person makes all the bad thoughts disappear when I’m with him.
When I am near Mateo, I forget why I’m so angry and the urge to kill slips away from my mind. I did what I did to help me get out of my head, it gave me a chance to destroy men like Miguel before they could continue to break families apart. Before they could turn more kids into the bitter and broken man I was today. I didn't just watch my father die that night, I heard my mother's screams beneath the flames and I've never stopped hearing them. I grip my gun in my hand, thinking about how easy it would be to climb into Mateo's bed and place a pillow over his face and kill him in his sleep. It could all be over in an hour. Killing Mateo would also take care of all my problems.
It would weaken his father and it would weaken Santiago. They didn't give a reason why it had to be after the wedding. Usually we did things on our own time. We didn't work on other people's schedules. If they wanted someone dead, we did it as long as we felt there was enough reason for the person to die. We did it at the most convenient times. Besides, killing Mateo after the wedding would be a bigger challenge. I always did enjoy challenges, but not this time. I release my grip on my weapon and reach for the phone instead. Mateo isn’t anything like his father and now that I know that, I know he doesn't deserve to die.
Me: I need a favor.
Angel: And what might that be?
Me: I need you to find out who was the last person to contact Carlos about a job.
Angel: Is this something I may regret later?
Me: What if I told you just to trust me?
Angel: Then I will. I'll have it for you as soon as I can. It may take a day or two.
Me: The sooner, the better.
