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Could he tell some piece of me didn't want his betrothal to go through? It wasn't logical, but my heart had been shattered into a thousand pieces when I lost him — a wound that still hadn't fully healed. Yet he'd done nothing since Gleyma to mend that wound, so those emotions were just shadows of their former selves.
He's not Eli…
Shaking my head and swallowing the lump in my throat, I turned to watch the fire.
"I expected as much,'' he continued, voice devoid of emotion. "I have heard your concerns and will be proceeding with the betrothal, as planned."
Jaiel groaned in frustration, and I grimaced, carefully avoiding the glare I could feel the prince directing at me. I'd done my part, as I'd promised Mirrim. Now I had to back off. Further pushing would just drive the wedges deeper between all of us without purpose.
Putting my glass on the desk, I stood and dipped my head. "In that case, I'm off to bed."
Liam nodded. "Yes, that's probably for the best."
"Wait," Jaiel said, grabbing my arm again. "We can't end on that note. You sure you don't want to stay for a bit?" His blue eyes were wide, almost pleading. "I could fetch some more wine, and we can all complain about how everything is Lynk's fault …"
Jaiel wasn't wrong, but I couldn't bring myself to accept his invitation or even reciprocate his smile. The best thing now would be for me to leave.
Tugging my arm away, I shook my head. "Have a good night, you two," I said, stepping back toward the door. "Jaiel, don't drink too much. And make sure you find a companion for the night." My voice caught, but I pushed through. "I need your charisma to be replenished for the mission."
"Oh, I will," he said, arm dropping to his side. "Sleep well, Princess."
Nodding, I slipped through the door and walked to my room, ignoring the way my stomach twisted at the thought of them with other women.
What was with these damn feelings? Those men were both complete assholes, and I should be glad to be rid of them. More than that, I should be happy for them moving forward in their lives.
Perhaps these feelings were just the normal pain of healing … like working scar tissue while recovering from a wound.
Yes. That was it. The pain was normal and good.
Everything would be fine so long as I focused on it and the mission.
Chapter 31
Jaiel
Taking the last sip of my morning tea, I ran my finger down the metal studs in my ear and stared out the window. Blue-gold light peaked through the tall spirals of red striated stone. I watched as Stryek and two other dragons swooped low over the rocks. Stryek snatched an unsuspecting fuzzy lenup from a rock, and the other two did the same. Teaching the others to hunt, perhaps?
Saints. They were gorgeous creatures.
It was just past sunrise, and we needed to get going, but I was sorely tempted to beg Kaiya to stay another day. It felt good to just be for a bit. I'd been going non-stop for years, and it was grating at me.
Dimiri was relentless in his efforts, and the Rogues always needed more — more intel, more connections, more secrets.
It was almost too much.
Besides that, I still hadn't found someone to help with my little charisma problem — not that the trysts had been helping all that much lately anyway.
After Kaiya left last night, Liam and I sat around for a while, catching up and finishing the wine. By the time we were done, the tavern was closed, and the village was fast asleep. Worse, Liam had warned me that the eligible ladies and gentlemen were all married or gone now, so there wasn't even anyone to persuade to join me for a little morning fun.
For a moment, I'd been tempted to ask Liam, but while we'd shared women, as far as I knew, he'd never explored actual sex with men before.
There was no way in hell I should be his first.
Maybe he, Kaiya, and I …
I immediately discarded the thought. In a different world, perhaps, but not as things were now.
I felt for the shadow creature inside myself and winced at how close the monster was to the surface. I had enough charisma to keep it inside, but it wouldn't last that long, especially if I needed to use any charisma on the mission.
