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“Have we just decided to maybe have a baby over a plate of subpar Spaghetti Bolognese?”
“It’s not subpar.”
“I didn’t mince the onions.”
“I don’t think that’s obligatory, babe.”
“Are we really doing this?”
Scooting her chair closer, Halle took Lydia’s hands. “We are. And we have from now until we decide to get a baby inside you to date. But I already know you’re it for me, Lydia. I knew it at 18, and I know it now. You’re perfect.”
Dropping her gaze, Lydia blushed. “I’m not.”
“You are for me.”
Epilogue
Halle saw her wife’s changing mood in an instant. She saw Lydia’s thoughts taking a dark turn as her eyes flickered from the young, thin server who had been openly flirting with Halle to her own stomach. The way Lydia began wrapping her arms around herself in a bid to make herself feel more secure.
“Can I get you anything else?” the perky server asked, only looking at Halle.
“Just the bill, please.” Halle refused to look anywhere but at her wife. Who, in turn, looked anywhere but at Halle. As much as Halle wanted to reassure Lydia, she knew better. Anything Halle said wouldn’t be taken to heart, not while Lydia was feeling like this.
Learning how to help Lydia through times of insecurity hadn’t been easy, especially lately. But Halle wasn’t a quitter, and she certainly wasn’t going to allow her wife to feel bad about herself.
Opening the car door, Halle helped Lydia inside. It still felt strange driving a big car. Lydia had finally convinced Halle to buy a second vehicle, knowing full well she’d never get rid of Nora—who was now stored in the garage. Nora was Halle’s weekend car. Unsurprisingly, Lydia was more than happy for Halle to go on jaunts by herself or with Fe.
The drive home was silent. Lydia kept her gaze out the passenger window. Halle bit her lip to keep quiet. The storm inside Lydia was still brewing and Halle had to wait for it to break before her help would be accepted.
Monty barked excitedly as soon as they stepped through the door. Halle moved in with Lydia three months after their baby-making talk. The transition was easy, just like their relationship, 90 percent of the time. Things got dicey when Lydia came off the pill.
The moment they started the baby process, Lydia was overly sensitive. Halle knew why. It was born from fear. Fear that Lydia wouldn’t be able to conceive.
Halle only made the mistake once of trying to make a joke out of something Lydia said that was self-deprecating. The devastation she’d witnessed slide onto her girlfriend’s face was devastating, and from that day on Halle never made light of Lydia’s feelings.
So, she was a practised hand now. Halle knew Lydia would slink off upstairs for half an hour. She didn’t like it, but she knew better than to follow. Lydia needed time to cry without a witness. Halle knew her wife would also self-deprecate in the bathroom as she tortured herself looking into the mirror. Thankfully, times like this were getting further apart.
Still, tonight Halle had some work to do. As predicted, Lydia ascended to their bedroom silently. Halle watched, her heart breaking. How could she think she is anything but perfect?
Given the chance, Halle would have liked to ream out the server for being so disrespectful and frankly unprofessional. She might have been younger and skinnier, but that held no appeal to Halle. Not when she had a stunning, curvaceous woman to call her own.
Getting angry wouldn’t help. Calm and steady was the way forward. It was 20 minutes later, Halle heard Lydia come downstairs. “Halle, can you sit for a minute, please?”
And here it came. The eye of the storm. “Sure, babe.”
Halle sat back on the sofa watching her wife pace. Lydia was nodding to herself, obviously bolstering whatever decision she’d decided was the best one.
“I think… I think we should look at having an open marriage.” Well, that was a new one.
“And why’s that?” It’s just her fears.
“I… I think it would do you good.”
“It would do me good?” God, how does her brain come to these conclusions?
“Yes. I’m aware that I look like a whale. We can’t have sex, and that’s my fault. You’re young, and should be able to have your needs met, Halle.”
“Honey, can you sit?” Lydia reluctantly stopped pacing and sat down. “Wait there one second, okay?”
