Page 127 of You're so Vain


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“We figured Nicole should be here,” I continue. “She’s one of the people who helped us. And Burke.”

“And Josie the Great?”

“That’s obvious,” Danny says with a grin. “She’s the one who made Shane famous. He’s not going to fail to see the value in that.”

“She also predicted we’d have another wedding,” I tell him. “It would have felt gauche not to invite her.”

“And yet we would have thanked you for it,” quips Leonard, even though he and Shauna also invited her to their wedding, held at a flower farm this spring.

“I don’t know,” says Drew, who flew in last night from Puerto Rico. He’s still living there. He and his now-wife moved out there with her grandmother, who’d been given a few months to live and wanted to spend it in her ancestral home. But the warm air must have preserved her, because that happened two years ago, and she’s still kicking. “Josie’s not so bad. Her ego hasn’t changed much considering how well she’s doing.”

“Because she already had an enormous ego,” Danny says. “I’m not sure it could have gotten any bigger.”

Josie the Great didn’t get that TV show she wanted, but never say never. She has a staff now, and an office with a neon sign. I begrudgingly like her, although we don’t make a habit of running into each other.

My mother peeks her head into the room, a huge smile on her face. “They’re ready for you, dear.”

I get a round of back pats from the guys, then I head out into the gardens to stand next to Mrs. Longhorn, who’s decked out in an intricate black lace dress. This woman. She’s full of mysteries, and she only lets one slip every three months or so. Ruthie says it’s so she can keep us hooked. If so, tip of the hat, Mrs. Longhorn. We’ve all become fond of her, and Ruthie is so invested in keeping her around that she’s tried to learn hypnosis from Josie so she can convince our elderly friend to stop smoking. I’m not holding my breath.

“About time, boy,” Mrs. Longhorn says, tapping her watch. It doesn’t work, but only a fool would risk saying so.

“I’d have married her a year ago.”

She snorts. “You did.”

I look down the aisle, taking in my friends’ faces. Nicole does the I’m watching you thing, so I salute her. Then I grin as Izzy and Flower come down the aisle, my little girl dropping petals as she goes. She’s wearing fairy wings, because this year she’s decided she’s a fairy. When they reach the front, Izz stops for long enough that I get to drop a kiss on her head—and receive a sloppy lick from Flower—before my mother ushers them over to sit with her.

And then Danny walks Ruthie down the aisle to me, and fuck, I feel it again—tears welling in my eyes. At my request, she’s wearing the same dress she wore at the courthouse a year and a half ago. She’s the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen, and she’s my wife. It’s not something I deserve, but I’m not going to turn my back on good fortune.

Danny grins as they reach me, and I feel another surge of gratitude so strong it nearly bowls me over. It hits me that he’s remembering what I am—a different wedding, a different day, watching him walk her down the aisle to a man I hated. I’m grateful we’re here in this day and not that one. So is he, I think.

“Look at you being a softie,” Ruthie says, smiling as she lifts onto her toes and kisses me.

“Come now,” says Mrs. Longhorn. “I know how you two are. No getting carried away before I have a chance to work my magic.”

So we let her do what she does best—act completely disinterested while being the opposite. We exchange vows, and everyone cheers as we kiss in front of Mrs. Longhorn in an “obscene display.” Our friends get up to mob the bar, and I know this is the moment I’ve been waiting for—my chance to whisk Ruthie away and show her the offering I’ve been working on.

“We can’t leave our own reception,” Ruthie hisses to me when I pull her aside and tell her it’s time for us to go.

“You can,” Izzy tells her, hugging her around the waist. “Dad has it all planned. Everyone knows you’re going to be gone for a little while. Aunt Mira said she’d dance with me.”

“Aunt Mira likes dancing with everyone,” I say with a laugh. She even got Danny to dance with her for a solid hour at their wedding, which is both definitive proof of his love for her and the transformative power of hard liquor.

“So you can go, Mom. Don’t worry. We’ll make sure everyone behaves.”

Ruthie shoots a disbelieving look at Josie, who’s cleared a table of appetizers, setting them all on the ground for the squirrels, and seems to have every intention of setting up her crystal ball. I couldn’t care less. Her predictions have done me a world of good, ultimately, and if she wants to tell everyone at this party they’re going to get food poisoning, so be it.

“How long will it take?” Ruthie asks me in an undertone.

I glance at my watch. “An hour. Maybe longer.”

“You’re being very mysterious.”

“Let him have his moment, Mom,” Izzy says, jumping a little on her feet. She has Flower on a leash beside her, and the little dog looks like she’s about to start jumping too.

Ruthie rolls her eyes, but I can tell she’s loving this. She’s always liked being surprised. I’m happy to oblige, because the look on her face when I get it right will always be worth it. “Okay, let’s do it.”

So I take her hand and sweep her into my car. As we head up the mountain, I slide my hand onto her thigh. “You look amazing, Ruthie. So indescribably amazing. I’m a lucky man.”

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