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There was a lump in my throat that I couldn’t swallow, blocking my airways and making it impossible to breathe. I hugged Rafe tightly before I turned my back to them all, my head hanging low, bolting straight outside the dining hall. I didn’t want anyone to see me like this.
I wasn’t a weak damsel in distress, but my whole life was about to be ripped from under my feet, and I couldn’t help how hard that reality hit me.
I burst inside the first room I could find and closed the door behind me. It was probably a small library, shelves filled with books lining the walls and two couches in the middle of the space.
I gripped the back of one, my nails digging into the leather. My whole weight fell to my arms that barely held me upright. I couldn’t hold the tears anymore. They fell in pairs, freely streaming down my face, my dress suddenly too tight to breathe.
It was the second time today that I was crying, and that was something I didn’t do often. I loved my brothers to the moon and back. We were inseparable, until now. Their hugs, kisses and words were already filled with a threat of a distance that was impossible to revert.
I was going to be alone. All alone.
Why the hell did Rafe have to mention Tommy?
I was holding it all together until I heard his name. It was the last push down this cliff of sadness that opened the gates to my tears.
Suddenly, the door swung open, the noise making me spin on my heels and sucking in my breath to see who the intruder was.
Matt stopped at the threshold for a moment, taking in my tear-stained cheeks. He closed the door with a bang, and in three wide strides, he was on me, pulling me against his broad, warm chest, while one demanding hand held my head against him and the other rubbed circles on my back. What the hell was he doing?
I tried to step away from him, one small moment of clarity telling me I had a wall to hold up, but my struggle only made him hold me tighter against him. No words, just the comfort of an honest hug without second intentions. For a moment, I found myself not wanting to fight, allowing my husband to hold me and soothe me, even if he was the match that started this fire.
His tight grip around my body was calming, my tears slowly subsiding with every soothing stroke of his strong hand on my back. I was in his arms for what seemed like eternity.
“I’m sorry.” He whispered, his voice calm but pained for some reason.
My brain couldn’t register such gentle words coming from the heartless villain holding me. His voice sounded sincere, the dichotomy uncovering a new layer of complexity to the man I thought I’d figured out.
I wasn’t expecting an apology from Matt. Did he mean he was sorry I was crying or that he had forced me to leave everything I held dear behind with this marriage? The all-mighty commander apologizing wasn’t something I could ever expect in my life.
Once I got a grip on my emotions, I pulled back, our eyes meeting in an intense stare. I felt his normally steely eyes were warmer, something soft swimming in them. They dipped towards my swollen lips, his Adam's apple bobbing as he forced himself to swallow before looking back up. His face was inching closer to mine without even noticing, and I found myself being drawn to him just as much.
Was he fighting the urge to kiss me as much as I was? Damn him. Damn those eyes that melted me inside. Damn his perfect face. Damn his fucking kindness.
Be mean. Be sour and cruel. I need your dark side to cast a shadow on me so I can keep hating you.
I straightened my dress, pulling my mind from the ledge, and gave Matt a small nod, signaling I was okay.
“I’m just going to freshen up, and we can pick up where we left off,” I said, heading to the bathroom and purposely ignoring what just happened.
Matt trailed behind me, leaning against the door, waiting. I found him in the same spot when I returned, freshened up with my emotions tightly shut in a box I’d address another day, finding that same soft expression on his face.
It wasn’t like in the church. I didn’t see pity. I saw compassion, which was worse.
“I’ve got a wedding gift for you,” he said, a candid smile on his face, throwing me for yet another loop.
“Oh, umm… Thank you. I huh… I didn’t get you anything.”
Matt handed me a blue velvet box that was bigger than my hand. Once I opened it, I saw a diamond necklace that must have certainly cost a small fortune. It was beautiful, no doubt about that, but if Matt knew me even just a little, he would know this wasn’t exactly my thing.
How sad was it that I was married to a man who didn’t even know the most basic things about me? How sad was it that I wanted him to know?
Still, it was a nice gesture I hadn’t thought of.
“Thank you. It’s beautiful.” I smiled politely.
“It seems like you don’t like it.”
“No! Of course, I do. I just–”
