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I stopped in the middle of the dense garden, looking up at the trees, my arms falling to my sides in defeat. I sat down on one of the benches, thinking about what I was going to do next. I needed to talk to him. I needed to hear him explain why he did this, with no bullshit. Was it only because of his seat in The Commission? Or maybe because he saw the opportunity to take over both families, ascending to an extremely powerful position, as capo di tutti i capi, the boss of all bosses.
With my father out of the picture and my brothers not caring for the title, that left an open spot. I’d take it, but the mafia is a men’s only club to its core.
He would be a legend in the Mafiosi world and have power greater than all the other three seated Capi.
Was I just a means to an end? The possibility made my heart shrink into my chest.
I spent the rest of the afternoon seated in a back booth of a nearby diner, figuring out what I should do. The more I thought about it, the more I knew I had to speak to Matt. I had to hear it from his mouth. I had to know why, and only after that could I decide.
My heart had settled where my brain was supposed to be, and now all I could think about was what kind of a boring life would I have without Matt in it? Did I even want that? How could I ever go back to bland, knowing that he had all the damn colors I craved in my life?
Yet this string of thoughts was dangerous, and I had to hold on to my self-respect this time. I couldn’t let him play me into submission.
A little boy snapped me out of my reverie, tapping me on the shoulder before handing me a small white envelope, running away before I could open it. I studied it before scanning the diner, searching for any familiar faces.
Nothing.
I slowly opened the envelope and took out the handwritten note. “I’m coming for you, my baby.”
There was no signature, no mark other than a branded geometrical logo I had never seen on the other side of the card.
Was it Matt? It could only be him. Maybe the symbol belonged to one of his legit businesses. How did he know where I was?
The only way I would get any answers was to talk to Matt directly. No more moping, no more impasse.
With my mind set, I paid the bill and started heading back home.
Matt
“FUCK!” I yelled after Francesca left, banging my fists on the closed metal doors.
“Matt, let her go. Let the information sink in,” Don Amato tried, reasoning with me as I pushed the elevator button to follow her.
“I can’t. I have to find her,” I grunted, shattering my everlasting façade of control and calmness.
“I know her, Matt. She doesn’t want to be found right now. She will be back, I’m sure. From the ten minutes I’ve been standing here, I could see the changes in the way she looks at you. Give her the time she needs, she will be back.”
“Why didn’t I tell her?” I asked more to myself than anyone else as I dialed her phone number, only to be sent straight to voicemail. Of course, what was I thinking?
“Because you have changed, too, and now you have something greater than your position to lose,” he said in a tone full of wisdom as he stroked Jamie’s hair.
But he was right, and I knew it.
I didn’t want to lose Francesca, and if this was what it took to have her as my wife, I would have done it all over again.
“Matt, she’s feeling betrayed, and truth be told, she has a very good reason to be feeling that way. But I’m sure she’ll come around. I’ll try to talk to her,” Jamie said, trying to calm me with a soft and reassuring voice.
They all left after about an hour, and I was finally alone with my thoughts. I hadn’t felt the urge to smoke since the night of our wedding, but I knew this whiskey alone wouldn’t do the trick, so I burned my lungs with close to half a pack of cigarettes already.
I was pacing so hard around the apartment that I could have opened a hole beneath my feet. It would probably take me straight to hell for messing with Francesca like this.
She deserved better. She deserved the truth, and I wasn’t man enough to give it to her. I was so caught up in our perfect honeymoon bubble that I didn’t even remember this small detail about our arrangement.
“Small.” An acidic chuckle escaped my mouth. It was small to me because I’d do just about anything to have her for myself. But that small detail was life-changing to her.
My obsession with this woman was driving me insane, and the prospect of losing her had me close to murderous.
She did this to me.
