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Another fucking red light.
And last, but most certainly not least, I had to show him that I cared. No, that’s not even close to what I feel. I had to show him more. Show him that I… That I… Ugh.
I revved the engine a little harder than I should, making the back wheel spin as I remained in place. As soon as it gripped back on the asphalt, the bike jerked forward projecting me off of it and onto the ground, the bike falling a few feet in front of me. This fucking dress and heels were certainly not made for bike riding.
I dusted myself off, not losing track of my goal, hopping right back on this monster. My right elbow and arm stung like a bitch before I felt the same pain on my right knee. Just some scratches, nothing much. I shook my head, trying to shake off the pain as I made the rest of the short way to the apartment.
Almost there.
I rushed up the stairs, taking two at a time, fearing that I had arrived too late. Fearing that he had already left or that he might not even come. I had to break free from the restraints and the fears of the past. I had to show him what’s beneath all this, show him all my ugliness, show him all my weakness so I can be strong again.
I ran through the door, feeling the sense of void invading me once again.
He wasn’t here.
You drove fast enough to get here before he did. He’s still coming.
I sat in the silent darkness of our living room, letting the peace of the shadows settle in as I had no choice but to wait in despair.
Waiting to repair what I had inadvertently damaged had my mind swirling in tornados of doubts that fed my already anxious and nervous state. My little scratches didn’t even hurt anymore.
What will I say? Where will I start?
I couldn’t just start unraveling the secrets of my past, bearing myself naked out of the blue. Would he even listen to me if I told–
“FRANCESCAAA!!” Matt’s voice slashed through the air, his growl cutting off my thoughts. That tone was filled with danger, menace, the loud slam of the door behind him heightening the tension in the room.
A shiver driven by that tone ran down my spine. I wasn’t sure if it was fear or pure arousal.
“Matt…” I exhaled in relief, letting him know I was there, standing in the darkness of our living room, only the moonlight shedding a dim light into the otherwise dark apartment.
“WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?” Matt roared, marching towards me, stopping five inches short of colliding with my body.
I knew this would come, but I had to do it. I knew he would come straight over to see if I had made it home. I couldn’t leave him alone in his own head, probably thinking all sorts of wrong shit. “DO YOU HAVE A FUCKING DEATH WISH?” He growled again, taking in the scratches on my arm, his grasp so firm it was borderline painful.
“No…I’m fine. I needed to talk to you,” I said, trying to get closer to him. Matt took a step back, the distance he was putting between us more than just physical.
“I’m sure that whatever it is you need to say isn’t worth the danger you just put yourself through. Besides, I’m not in the mood to chat right now. I can see you are safe and unharmed as he intended.”
He left the meaning behind his words hanging in the air as he turned towards the door to leave.
This was it. I’d lost him. Nothing I could say would make him look at me as he once did.
“I’ll have Max come stay with you and make him bring someone to have a look at that,” Matt said in a cold and detached tone before reaching for the door handle.
“NO!” I shouted, running to the door and slamming my back on the wooden surface. “Wait. I–”
“I love you, Francesca, but I really don’t like you right now.” He cut me off before I could say anything else, but I couldn’t give up so easily. I knew he was trying to hurt me on purpose, but telling me he loved me was not doing the trick.
“Matt… please. Let me make this right.”
“Make what right, Francesca? There’s nothing you can do to make this right.” He angrily said, his hand motioning between the two of us, referring to our marriage.
“This… as you call it, is not broken.” I tried to reason with him, my tone coming out more angry than intended.
“I’m an arrogant son of a bitch. I can see that now. I thought I could make you like me. Shit, maybe I even did. But just liking me isn’t enough anymore, Francesca.” He paused for a moment, shutting his eyes and inhaling deeply to restore his trained, calm demeanor. And when he opened them again, any veil of emotion had been swept away. “I’m sorry, I never thought this would be an issue. This was not part of our agreement. Let me just breathe, get my head back in order and under control, okay? Let me just think this through. I’m sure I’ll be back to my old self by tomorrow.”
His old self. I knew he meant his old self as in before we got married. Before he had feelings for me.
