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“I’m gonna give you a safe word.”
“I don’t need one.”
“Don’t fight me on this, Francesca. You will say the words if we reach a hard limit.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat, but it wasn’t fear. It was something else entirely. This was all new to me. Willingly relinquishing control over to someone else. It was a trigger from my past trauma, but right now, it wasn’t being taken from me like before. I was giving it.
“What is it?” I relented.
“I surrender,” Matt said, and my heart raced at an unnatural speed. I’d never say it. He was pushing my hand, trying to make me back off, but I wasn’t going to lose him to his own thoughts.
“Okay.” I lied.
“Hold out your hands.” Matt sheathed his gun and took off his belt. He tied my wrists together, the leather biting into my skin. Before I could protest, he yanked on the loose end, pulling my hands above my head, and pinned me back onto the door, his lips and teeth grazing mine as he spoke. “Do you have any idea how fucking murderous I am right now?”
“I do.”
“So you won’t find it strange that I need to see my hand marked on that ass of yours.”
“No, Signor.” I swallowed hard, my thighs clenching together.
“Good.” He rumbled before his lips were taking mine in a dominant kiss so harsh it was primal.
In one swift move, Matt had me spinning on my heels, my front now pressed against the door, my hands still held above my head.
His free hand ran down my back and over the curve of my ass. Matt landed a hard smack on my ass, and a gasp left my mouth in surprise. “Say the words, Francesca, and I’ll stop.”
“No.” I quickly replied. The fact that he was calling me by my name wasn’t lost on me. Matt was still in his head, still caging the fury instead of letting go.
“What do you want, Francesca?”
The answer to that was clear and simple. “I want you.”
“What if you can’t have me anymore?”
My heart raced in a frenzy, my anger mixing with my fears as my voice came out sharp and poignant. “Then it’s because I never had you in the first place.”
Matt spun me around again, his nose flaring wide in anger. His hand grasped my jaw, pushing his fingers into my cheeks. “You never had me? You never fucking had me?” He yelled straight to my face. “Do you understand how fucking hurt I am, Francesca? Do you understand that this love thing wasn’t supposed to hit me, but you came and bulldozed me with it? Do you understand that I feel so fucking much for you that I want to stab my heart and give it peace? You ripped me to shreds, Francesca. What the hell even is this?”
Tears formed behind my eyes, and I tried my damndest to blink them back but Matt’s pained gaze was making it all the more difficult.
I thought I was losing him. I thought he was pulling away again. Instead, Matt leaned in and kissed me with all his heart. To this day, he had yet to put so much feeling into a kiss. I kissed him back with all the pain and fear of losing him that coursed through my body.
“I love you,” I whispered, pulling back just enough to be heard. “I love you so damn much it’s scary.”
I kissed him again, hoping he could taste those words on my tongue, feel them through my lips, believe them through the devotion in this kiss.
Because I did. I loved him. And fuck, it was scary to think he was about to give up.
Chapter 32
Matt
Jesus fuck!
How could three words be so damn life-changing?
I was a fucking mess less than a minute ago, and with a whisper of words I could feel spoken straight to my soul, I was now floating on cloud nine.
