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“Hardly an idiot and you know why,” he said.
“You were a kid. A teen. Misplaced love and it wasn’t even love and you know it. It’s not the same thing.”
“Whatever,” he said. “It doesn’t change what happened and how I’ve carried that guilt for years.”
“Not your fault,” Egan said. “I didn’t know you back then, but what I know of you and the person you are, you got sucked into someone else’s drama and they locked you in that place. Even to this day. Don’t carry that shit with you. Grace isn’t that way and neither is our family.”
Lincoln knew that, but it was hard to break out of the place he’d been locked in.
His parents still felt it from time to time too.
“I know,” he said. “I’m getting there.”
“So what is the next step after Grace gave you shit? Did you tell her why you are the way you are?”
“No,” he said. He wouldn’t tell Egan that he let it slip that he’d been burned worse than her. It didn’t matter. “It didn’t seem the place for it.”
“Did she tell you about her?” Egan asked.
“What do you know you aren’t saying?”
“Nothing,” Egan asked. “We all felt the same pinch at times. It’s hard to find someone with our last name or heritage. I think that is why my family is so accepting. If you put stipulations on things you narrow down your dating pool to begin with. The fact that those who live on the island full time don’t want to live anywhere else already narrows things. This life isn’t for everyone.”
“No,” he said. “I’ve learned that too. I know I could move to Boston and still keep my job.”
“Of course you could,” Egan said. “But it’s not what you want. Or is it?”
“Fuck no,” he said. “I like the pace of living here. I like my little rented home. The city isn’t where I want to be.”
“Because living on the island reminds you of living back home?” Egan asked.
“Scranton is a big city but nothing like Boston. I like being in the country. Riding my four-wheelers and snowmobiles.”
“Nothing you do here,” Egan pointed out.
“No. I can do that when I go home.” And he did. If he went home for more than a day, which didn’t happen often.
His mother had been asking him to take some time. A vacation even. Come home and relax.
He’d been thinking of it.
But with Kaden’s birth he didn’t want to put his boss in a bind. He’d think about taking his vacation soon though. Even if it was a long weekend.
He never wanted to forget where he came from and didn’t think he ever would.
Too much was keeping him locked there anyway.
“When are you going back again?” Egan asked.
“No clue. We are going to get into our busy season soon,” he said.
“So? I’ve got more pilots. You can figure it out and take some time.”
He’d have to drive though if he went for a few days. No way he could take the helicopter that long and wouldn’t even think of it. Not when someone else could be flying it.
“I’ll think of it. Maybe before Memorial Day weekend when it will pick up more.”
“Fine,” Egan said. “But you need to take a week’s vacation at some point too. So plan that. I’m going to force you to do it at some point. You need a break. I don’t think you’ve gotten one in a long time.”
