Page 69 of Every Breath After


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The kid flinches, and drops to the floorboards, curling themselves into a ball. They cover their ears and start rocking, eyes squeezed shut.

I look around our yard, unsure what to do. The rain is coming down heavier now, slanting with the wind, blowing mist onto the porch.

Lowering to my knees, I stare at the kid’s blond head. He or she is still rocking, ears covered. From inside the house, I hear Mom’s voice getting louder. She’s worked up. Probably on the phone with Linda. Or maybe she tried calling Dad? Did he leave a number? Did Mom have it all this time?

I know she’s not mad at either of us, but I don’t think this kid knows that.

I don’t even really know what made Mom mad. Something in that letter. Or maybe because Dad was here, but couldn’t even be bothered to say hi—the kid and the mud tracks and the letter being the only evidence he was even here at all.

I spot something next to where the yellow raincoat bunches up around them, and I grin.

“You like Finding Nemo?”

The kid’s rocking slows a bit.

Finally, they nod. As if remembering it’s there, a hand shoots out, grabbing the stuffed animal, and bringing it to their chest.

“Me too. Crush is the coolest. He’s all whoa, dude, and sup, dude,” I say, deepening my voice, doing my best impression of the surfer turtle.

The kid lifts their head, shyly peeking up at me through the hair hanging around their face. “Squirt.”

“Huh?” I say, playing stupid.

They thrust the toy at me, shaking it in my face. “Flowers. See.”

I slap my head. “Oh, duh.”

The kid giggles quietly, bringing the stuffy back to their face, and burying it in the turtle’s plush shell.

“So your dad… he’s my dad?”

A nod.

“But my mom’s not your mom.”

This time, a small shake of their head. And they hunch down, as if trying to make them self even smaller.

“How old are you?”

A small hand pokes out from the sleeve, and I count five fingers.

“Cool. I’m twelve.” I fall back onto my butt, crossing my legs. “I always wanted to be a big brother.”

Again, they shyly peek up at me. Hopeful gray-blue eyes, similar to my own, peer back at me from under long gold lashes.

I smile. “Do you have a name?”

They look down and whisper something under their breath, too quiet for me to make out.

I frown. “What was that? I didn’t hear you.”

Louder this time, but not by much, they say, “I don’t like it.”

I blink. “Oh. Okay. Well, what do you wanna be called?”

A shrug. Small fingers play with the turtle’s feet.

“Hmmm,” I say, looking around. My eyes fall to the stuffy being crushed to their chest and nose. “What about Squirt?”

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