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“Come on, Iz,” the source of that scoff grumbles. “This is so ga-stupid.”
At Waylon’s voice—his near slip-up, that I can’t even be sure I heard, or just imagined—I stiffen, flinching inward, my throat swelling with something foul-tasting that makes me want to literally claw at my skin and crawl out of it.
Get out. Get out of here.
But when I try to get my body to move—to bolt for the stairs—nothing happens. I’m as frozen now as I was moments ago.
Across the circle, Mason’s shoving Waylon and telling him to not be such a dick. Then, pushing up on his knees, he walks himself across the circle, and my eyes widen, finding his.
With a determined sort of scowl etched across his face, Mason tells me, “Ignore him. He forgot what it’s like to have fun.”
I feel myself give a small nod.
Next to me, I sense more than see as Sarah moves away from us. I try not to squirm, and draw further attention to myself.
Mason draws as close as possible to where I stay balled up against the wall. It feels like there’s an earthquake moving through my body. Can he tell? Can they all tell? I hope not.
I don’t want to do this.
I should’ve never come down here in the first place.
Mason’s pale blue eyes meet mine as he falls back on his heels, knees brushing my shins, denim scratching over denim.
It’s so quiet, leaving only the music still playing—a mix CD Izzy made.
And of course it has to be something romantic playing right now. “I Knew I Loved You” by Savage Garden.
Could this be anymore humiliating?
“If we don’t…” Mason whispers, his voice trailing off pointedly.
I don’t need to hear what he was going to say. His pinched, worried eyes say it all. All the things I keep hidden from myself.
If we don’t follow through, it’ll be obvious why.
If I make this any bigger of a deal than the kiss I shared with Kasey, there and gone and meaningless, it’ll confirm what so many already suspect about me.
All the taunts and name calling…
Never mattered what I did, how I spoke.
It’s like everyone knew a secret about me, before I even knew there was something to try and keep hidden.
I never had a chance…
“Just close your eyes,” he mutters quietly.
My eyes dart to my right, where Sarah was sitting moments ago, confirming she did in fact leave.
Where did she go?
“Jeremy.”
A glance over Mason’s shoulder shows that she’s scooted closer to Izzy. They’re watching us. My sister’s gaze meets mine and she nods, giving me an encouraging smile.
I frown, my eyes hard on hers.
It’s okay, she mouths.
