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“She didn’t want to. He was in a rival family, after all.” A small smile plays on my lips as I raise a brow to him, and he mimics the slight tilt of his lips with a tiny shake of his head.
Again. The parallels.
“So she got involved with Shane, betraying Arturo but knowing it was also her only way to save him and avoid marrying your brother. He was a political science intern at Rutgers, working for my grandfather. She got pregnant by him, and my grandfather forced them to marry to avoid the bad press it could cause, and that was that. Arturo was furious, but he saw why she needed to do it.”
That passage is seared in my mind.
“What does that have to do with you selling yourself?” Dante asks, interrupting my trip into my memories. I cringe at his words.
“I didn't—"
“You know what I mean, Lilah. You weren’t there because you like to dance. You didn’t come with cash in hand. You came with your body, willing to dance to pay off a debt.”
I stare off beyond his head, trying to explain the story that is so twisted and confusing.
“My mom loved my dad . . . Shane . . . in her own way. I saw it in her journals. Watching him become a father to Lola, watching him become passionate about politics, about his town, she thought . . . She thought she succeeded in getting out of the darkness that was her father.”
“And then Shane went dark.”
“And then Shane went dark. And my mom supported him through it regardless. Helped him. She became consumed by him. He became her life's purpose; keeping him out of trouble became her everything. I think that was her biggest weakness. She loved too easy, too deep.”
“Where do you come in? If she was happy with your father, why would she go to Arturo? How were you brought in?”
“She wanted him to stop getting deeper and deeper. He was meeting with your father, just like my grandfather had. My mom knew from her own father where it could lead, and not only did she not want that for herself, she didn’t want that for Lola—a father who was in too deep, who had greed in his mind. Shane didn’t like that, her getting into his business. Didn’t like how she was giving her opinion. Their marriage started to fall apart. He became manipulative, verbally abusive in his own way, but she stayed all the same.” I sigh. “There was a big fight, and she ran off for the night. She wanted to blow off some steam and, along the way, called her ex. She disappeared for two weeks, holed up with Arturo, wishing she had made the right decision back then.” I shake my head.
“Your sister? She just abandoned her for two weeks?” I cringe and nod.
No one in this story is a saint.
“I don’t think Lola knows this part. She was four, too young to remember. But from what I can see in the journals, yeah. She left her with Shane and ran off to fuck her ex.”
“So your mother had an affair, and you were born.” I nod and stare at Dante, praying this is the right call. That my gut is right and I can let him my fortress, and he won’t pillage the town. “She was going to leave Shane. Spent the pregnancy planning it out, knew that once I was born and looked nothing like him, it would be obvious, at least to him. She had money set aside and was trying to figure out how to leave with Lola, take her with her. She wanted me to be out of the newborn stage, safe and healthy, before she did. But then . . .” I pause, my mind wondering what my life could have been.
“Arturo was killed,” he says.
“My birth father was killed. No one knew why. The case was cold until Johnny confessed. But I think my mom knew all along.”
“Your mom knew?”
“She left clues for me in her journals. There was a note on top; she wanted me to find them. There were clues, and I didn’t understand most of them until Lola was taken. Then things became clear. I know who made the call.” Another sigh leaves my lips, and I wonder if he knows this part or if what I’m about to admit will tear up his world. “My mom deserved more. Your family . . .”
“Johnny. It was Johnny, Lilah. He admitted it when he took Lola.”
“It was, but it wasn’t, Dante. Johnny was your father’s number one.” He doesn’t have an argument for that. “Johnny killed Arturo, but it wasn’t on a whim. Tony put out the hit, and Carmine told him to do it. It wasn’t just a random, chaotic thing.”
“No, Lilah. Johnny wanted to clear the way to you. Tony planted that seed.”
I wonder what kind of bad blood is between the two brothers. What makes him instantly blame his brother rather than his corrupt father. “Your brother put out the hit, Dante, yeah. But it wasn't just him.” His face screws up with disbelief.
“Yeah, he was mad. Mad that my mother refused to marry him because she didn’t want to be entwined in the family but then went and fell for Arturo. Mad that she risked everything and went back to him, got pregnant, was planning to run off with him. Not sure how he found out that part, but it doesn’t matter. But your father . . . Your father had a plan for me.”
“Delilah, I know that all of this hurts, that you want to believe there is some bigger reason, want to be able to plan a grand revenge, but—"
“Three months after Arturo was killed, your father came to my mother.”
Dante goes silent.
“Gave her an offer. Come to him. Leave my father, stay with the family. Consider getting with Tony.”
