AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I want to point out that I’ve devoted my entire livelihood to ensuring the health and happiness of mothers and babies. I want to ask how she dares question my medical competence and maternal readiness.
As I look up at her kind face, noting that she’s been nothing but hospitable to me since I became part of the family, I’m faced with a stark realization.
My God. I’ve been completely unreasonable.
So instead of chastising her, I nod graciously.
“You’re right,” I admit. “Thank you.”
And looking at the three choices placed before me, I realize that I’m incredibly thirsty, and I down the glass of ice water.
It’s the most delicious thing I think I’ve ever tasted.
“So, now that you're hydrated…” She pauses to give me a smile. “What's on your mind?”
I feel terrible about my irritability with Liza, and I’ve only been here for a few minutes. With Cedrick, it's been days of up-and-down aggression – nothing passive about it. I’ve been horrible.
“Oh, you know,” I say, taking another sip. “Nothing much. Just needed some company, I guess.”
Internally, I’m screaming at myself. I want to tell her everything, but my fear gets the better of me.
“Well, I’m glad I can provide you some.”
She lifts herself up off the recliner, and moving over to the window, closes the curtains. “Sorry. It was getting a bit bright.”
Something about it reminds me that I’m in a private space. If I can’t trust Liza, who can I trust?
“So, when do you think Ishmael might be coming back?”
She laughs heartily. “I don’t know. Need to talk to him? No, kidding. I was pretty sure Cedrick was the one who invited him out, so you’d know better than I would.”
I chuckle.
I wonder what they’re talking about, and whether Cedrick might be telling Ishmael how crazy I am.
I would want nothing to do with me if I were him.
“This whole thing is extremely confusing,” I blurt out, and Liza looks surprised at the sound of my voice. “I mean, I’m having Cedrick’s baby. And I don’t have a fucking clue where I even stand with him. What are we? What do I mean to him? Am I crazy? Should I be okay with all of this?”
It’s been screaming at me from the inside, and now that it finally escaped, I can’t believe it took me so long. I have no idea whether I sound insane, but I couldn’t go another minute without saying it.
She starts laughing into her hands, at first softly, and then maniacally. Maybe I’m not the only crazy one. She doesn’t say anything through the random fits of laughter, and I don’t know what’s happening.
Maybe she thinks it’s a joke. “Is it funny? I don’t understand.”
But she brings herself to her senses, massaging her temples. “No, no. It’s just that you sound exactly like me.”
I narrow my eyes in disbelief. “You’re kidding, right? You and Ishmael seem like you never had crazy conversations like that. You have an eight-year-old, for God’s sakes.”
“An eight year old who he just met… Oh, two months ago for the first time? After we didn’t see each other for a decade? Yeah, you’re right. Your relationship might be less confusing than ours.”
I keep my lips pursed, thinking she’s joking still. But her face doesn’t break. She’s serious.
“With me and Ishmael, it was really confusing. You know what helped?”
“Hmm? What?”
“Talking about it. With him.”
