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I don’t know why I expected it to be awkward and weird, but it’s nothing like that. It’s like it always was when we attended a game.
The kids head into the locker room and sit down where Benji’s name still hangs, which is right next to Christopher, who takes off his shoes and quickly puts on his skates. I go through the motions of getting the kids in their skates. I can hardly hear the noise around me from all the squealing kids because my heart pounds so loud and fast it’s echoing. I sit down next and put my skates on, trying to tell myself it’s not going to be as bad as I think it will be.
“I’m ready,” Luna states, grabbing her little helmet. “Mommy, are you coming?”
“Um,” I start and look at my skates. I think about how awkward it’s going to be with me ending up on my ass. But I’ll do it for the kids and hope for the best. I’m about to stand and pretend I’m okay when I see Christopher get up on his skates.
“How about I take them?” Christopher says. “If it’s okay with you?”
“Are you sure?” I ask, and he looks at Rain and then Luna.
“Can I take you on the ice with me, and Mommy can just stay and take pictures?” he asks them, and they nod.
“I need you to hold me,” Luna tells Christopher. “I don’t know how to skate.”
“I won’t let you fall, pretty girl,” he assures her softly. “Take your skates off and meet me out there.” The girls wobble away from me, saying hi to everyone as they make their way to the ice.
“Are you sure about this?” I ask softly.
“Yup.” He nods and then smirks, his blue eyes getting even brighter. “This way, you can’t avoid me,” he declares before he walks out of the room to join my girls.
CHAPTER SEVEN
christopher
“Are you two ready?” I clap my hands as I follow them down the carpet toward the ice.
I make sure I walk next to Luna, who doesn’t look like she’s been on skates since last year.
“I need one of those.” Luna points at the little metal skating helper some of the little kids use.
“I need one also,” Rain says softly, and I tilt my head to the side.
“You know how to skate,” I tell her, and she shakes her head. I know that last year Benji said he was getting them into skating lessons during the week.
“Dad stopped taking me…” She looks at me, feeling like she is telling me a secret she shouldn’t be telling me. It is right then and there my hatred for Benji comes rearing back in full force. I’ve pushed it away for the past couple of weeks. I am talking to my uncle Viktor daily even though he doesn’t have any medical training. He went through it, and I feel like I can open myself to him. My hands ball into fists by my sides. “I used it the last time.”
“Okay,” I concede, trying to make it seem like I don’t want to take the metal skating helper and throw it across the room. “Stay here,” I tell them, skating onto the ice and grabbing one before going back to them. “Rain, you are going to train with this one,” I inform her, and I see Luna’s face go down. “And you are going to skate with me.” Her whole face lights up. “Until you are comfortable on skates, I’m going to hold you so you can see how easy it is.”
“I don’t want to fall,” Luna tells me, and I laugh.
“I won’t let you fall, princess,” I assure her, holding out my hand for Rain, who squeezes mine as she moves toward the metal contraption. “I’m going to skate beside you for a bit,” I tell her, “until you are ready to take off.”
“Okay, Uncle Christopher,” she replies. Her voice is filled with enthusiasm as I move over and grab Luna.
“You ready?” I ask, and she nods. With the helmet, her head looks bigger than her body.
I put her down on her skates, and she does what every person does. She tries to walk with them and swing her feet front to back. “Easy there.” I put my hands under her armpits. “Lift one foot and then put it down,” I urge her, thinking back on the way my father taught my sisters, who hated every single second of it. Luna does what I tell her, but then just tries to speed skate. “Nice and easy,” I remind her, looking over to Rain, who is killing it. “Look at what Rain is doing,” I tell Luna, who looks over.
“I’m doing that,” she argues. I laugh and look up to see Koda standing behind the bench with some of the other wives. She’s trying to keep up with their conversation, but her eyes are on the girls. She steps away for a second, taking out her phone to snap a couple of pictures.
Rain picks up more and more confidence as she skates with a couple of the other girls who she hangs around with. I stay as close by as I can, but with Luna getting the hang of it, I can’t do it for long. “Uncle Chrissy,” she says, “I want water.”
“Then let’s skate over to the bench,” I urge her and slowly lessen my hold on her, enough for her to skate by herself, but also tight enough to catch her if she were to slip.
“Mommy!” she screams when we are almost to the bench. “I can skate.”
“I saw.” Koda comes over to the open bench door. “You were doing so good.” I keep my hands around her chest until she steps up and Koda catches her.
