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“I’m making breakfast tacos for Luna’s birthday,” I say. She smiles at me, then walks over to Luna.
“Happy birthday, Luna.” She gets on her stool with her.
“Why don’t you two go watch television, and I can cook breakfast?” I urge them as Rain steps off the stool and holds her hand out for her. Luna steps down and puts her hand in her sister’s as they walk to the family room.
Five hours later, my in-laws are ringing the doorbell and entering the house. “Where is the birthday girl?” my father-in-law, Eddie, says.
“It’s me! It’s me!” Luna runs out of my bedroom toward the stairs. “I’m the birthday girl.”
“Be careful!” I shout as I hear her walking down the stairs before sliding my feet into my black sling-back shoes.
“You grew overnight,” my mother-in-law, Gretchen, says to her.
“Hey,” Benji mumbles before entering our bedroom. “What the fuck are my parents doing here so early?”
“It’s almost noon, and the guests will be here for your daughter’s birthday party in an hour,” I remind him. “You know, the thing we’ve discussed all week.”
He runs his hands through his black hair. “Yeah, I know. I just thought it was earlier than noon.”
“Well, when you walk into the house at five thirty, noon feels like six o’clock, I guess.”
“Are you keeping tabs on me?” He puts his hands on his hips.
“You think I have time to keep tabs on you?” I shake my head. “I have two kids to keep up with. The last person I have time to keep tabs on is a grown-ass adult.”
“Sounded like you were keeping track of when I was coming and going.” He takes his shirt off, and I see the bite mark right next to his nipple. He’s not even trying to hide anything these days. I blink away the tears fighting to come out.
“Not that you can comprehend anything when you are like this”—I walk over to grab my phone and put it in the back pocket of my white jeans—“but we have a Ring cam that alerts me when someone is at the door.” I look over at him as he pulls down his pants, leaving him in just his boxers. “That’s the only reason I know what time you came home.”
“Don’t be a pain in the ass.” He tosses his pants toward his closet. “I have the biggest headache.”
“I bet,” I mumble. “For today, we can pretend it’s all shits and giggles,” I say to his retreating back as he walks into the bathroom, “but I’d like to have a conversation with you.”
“About?” he asks over his shoulder. “I really have to focus on my training.” He mentions his off-ice training that he should be doing but isn’t putting effort into it.
“Well, I’m sure you can spare me a couple of minutes,” I throw over my shoulder, walking out of the bedroom and closing the door.
Walking down to the kitchen, I find the caterer setting up. “Hi,” I say as I make my way to the backyard, where it’s being transformed into a carnival-themed birthday party. They are setting up the blow-up bouncy houses next to the popcorn stand.
“Mommy,” Luna says, running to me, “they brought a pony.” When she tells me, my eyes go big, and I smile.
“Grandma says I get a turn first because it’s my special day.” She jumps up and down, and all I can do is smile at her. Nothing is going to ruin her day.
Benji comes out thirty minutes later, wearing shorts and a T-shirt, his hair still wet from the shower. His bloodshot eyes are now clear thanks to either his eye drops or who knows what else. He stops beside me for a second. “Hey,” he says, kissing my cheek as if nothing was just said before. As if he didn’t come home after God knows what. “This is nice. Where is the birthday girl?” He looks around and walks away from me in Luna’s direction.
“He looks good, right?” I look to my right, where my father-in-law watches Benji tickle a squealing Luna.
“Yeah, keep telling yourself that,” I say before being called inside about something. I don’t get a chance to say anything else because guests start arriving.
For the whole afternoon, we both pretend that our life isn’t falling apart. Or at least I’m pretending. I’ll do what I need to do to make sure my girl has the best birthday.
Even when the cake comes out, and we stand behind it with the girls in front of us, we pose for pictures like we’ve done a thousand times before. His hand is around my waist, but I put one hand on each girl's shoulder instead of around him.
Guests stay way after the kids’ bedtime. When I finally walk upstairs with Luna sleeping on my shoulder, Rain trails me. “Go put your pj’s on,” I tell her as I walk into Luna’s room, taking off her shoes. I just let her sleep in the shorts and T-shirt she changed into when she got soaking wet after accidentally turning on the hose to help the pony get a drink of water.
Closing Luna’s door softly behind me and walking into Rain’s room, I see Benji walking into the house at the same time. “I’m going to go for a drive.” He looks up at me and walks out the front door, closing it softly behind him.
I tuck Rain in before walking back to my bedroom and getting ready for bed. I’m so tired I fall asleep within a couple of minutes.
