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“You sleep in my bed.”
“Oh my God, this guy didn’t even buy the bed,” Dylan groans. “Did we not teach you anything? Koda,” he calls her name and she comes over. “On behalf of the Stone family, I want to apologize for him being this way.” He shakes his head. “Dad is going to kill you.” He turns his eyes on me.
“Can you, like, shut up?” I tell Dylan, who pretends to zip his mouth. “This house has four bedrooms. One of them is your office.”
“Okay?”
“Baby, where are our kids going to go?” I ask. She steps back, and even Dylan hears the gasp out of her mouth because he mimics it.
“Our kids?”
“Well, yeah.” I look at her. “I mean, not now, but like when we have them.”
“Imagine she is pregnant right now and you just said that,” Dylan pushes. “How is she going to feel?”
“She’s not pregnant now,” I tell him, then look over at Koda. “Are you pregnant?”
“Are you insane?” she shrieks in a whisper so as not to wake the girls.
“Yes,” Dylan answers right away, “he is.”
“I’m not pregnant.”
“Yet,” Dylan adds, and I smirk.
“Exactly,” I agree, “and when we have our babies, where are they going to go?”
“You want me to have your babies?” she whispers, pointing at herself.
“Well, our babies,” I correct. “I want you to have our babies.”
“I bet the first one is a boy,” Dylan says and even Koda smiles.
“How many babies do you want?”
“Whatever you do, don’t fucking say eight,” Dylan advises. “Cooper is going to be bald soon with all the kids he has.”
“I don’t want eight kids.” She shakes her head.
“We already have two.”
“You want to have six more?” She gawks at me.
“No, I’m good with two more, maybe three, if it’s two boys and try for a girl and vice versa.”
“That’s how it starts, Koda,” Dylan chimes in. “Don’t fall for that. Erika started with Cooper’s two girls, and now she has a minibus full.”
“Would you shut up?” I tell Dylan.
“Hey, I’m talking to my sister-in-law,” Dylan quips.
“Sister-in-law?” Koda questions, looking at the phone and then to me.
“Well, after you get married,” Dylan says, “but it’s close enough. He’s living with you, mooching off your food. Does he even get groceries?”
“Goodbye,” I say and hang up while he’s laughing.
“We should talk.” I look at her as her face fills with a panicked look.
