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“That is not why they erase your memories!” Cassius called out to me. “He’s manipulating you, My Love.”
“Then tell her whatever excuse you have.” My father glared.
“I can’t.” He frowned. “Thea, I swear…” his voice faded as my mind raced.
My mind flashed to Cassius resting his hand over my heart a few short days ago. He had made it a point to say it was his favorite sound. Died. I have died over and over again. I could hear sobs come from me, but I felt as though I watched it all from outside of my body. How could this happen? He had convinced me he had loved me. He had pretended the whole time? Nev’s words came back to haunt me. You're falling for it…again.
Did he ever love me? All of the stories he told me, were any of them true? Their eyes were on me as I kneeled in the dirt and mud and felt the betrayal as if it was the first time I ever felt it. My darkness crawled so viciously out of me that the noise that ripped from my chest sounded unnatural. The ground cleaved in two between us from my power. Birds flew from the trees as dark clouds moved over the clearing to match the devastation I was feeling. The Wisps didn’t move from Cassius’s side.
A sharp unforgiving pain had my eyes snapping to my wrist where the marking he gave me sat. Only now the crown had a large crack through it. Broken, just like me. Red and orange swirls formed on my skin as blackness covered my sight. Cassius was saying something to me, but I couldn’t hear through the thoughts of betrayal running through my mind. The weight of his betrayal was slowly crushing me as I kneeled in the mud, the truth of everything came crashing around me. Tears ran down my face like rivers taking all the happy moments with Cassius with them. He never loved me. It was all a show. I was just a pawn like I had feared. If my curse was losing memories did that mean Exile was a part of it?
“What about Exile?” I asked my father.
“I don’t know what that is.” He frowned.
“Where I lived these past seven years. Where all the elite magic holders live.”
My father’s eyes frosted over.
“That must have been part of the curse,” he muttered. “It doesn’t exist.”
“Thea, he’s lying!” The King of Crimson called out to me.
“B-but I’ve been there. I’ve lived there with Sybil, Kaz, and Kai. It has to be real.”
My father glanced down at me with pity. My stomach lurched at the look, knowing that only bad news would follow.
“Sybil and the twins died, Thea. They can’t be in Exile with you because they’re dead, and Exile doesn’t exist.”
My mind raced with flashes of Sybil and the twins in Exile. That couldn’t be true. It all seemed so…real. Tears blurred my vision as everything I thought I knew was ripped from me. Was part of the curse to make me think I wasn’t alone in Exile? Nothing made sense.
“I’m sorry,” my father whispered. “I know how important they were to you.”
A fog of confusion overtook any ability I had to think. Sybil and the twins were dead. I had died. Cassius killed me. Cassius didn’t love me. My father was the only one telling me the truth. He thought my magic could be good.
It was too much to process.
“It was all a lie,” I whispered trying to process it all. Sobs wracked through me as racing flashes of Cassius, and I tortured me. How did I fall so easily for his bullshit when I knew I was never worthy.
“No, it was not.” Cassius pleaded.
“You killed me.” I tried not to cry, but I was no longer in control of my emotions. “You shoved my dagger into my heart and killed me. For power? To curse my soul? I do not understand.”
“Because it had to be done.” He said it so casually like he wasn't talking about ending my life. His face was cold as he looked at me now. He couldn’t pretend to care about me any longer I supposed. Like it didn’t matter...like I didn’t matter. I was a pawn to everyone, and I should have just stayed dead. Cassius’s face contorted like he heard every thought racing in my mind. At his declaration, I stood on shaky legs and frowned at Cassius one last time before grabbing the bloodstone and handing it to my father.
“You chose Cerithia,” Cassius spoke in a voice so dark and menacing that it made me recoil from him. “Do not come back to the Crimson lands again, Thea Alzara of Cerithia. Born enemy of my Kingdom, my crown, Crimson fae, the family of Valeska...of me.” He stood and glared at me; his eyes so black I could hardly tell it was him. “I wasted years pretending to care about you all for you to still choose Cerithia!” His voice bellowed so loud that trees swayed at his madness. Stop. Please. My eyes begged him.
I could not stand to know it was all a lie. I could not get through this. At least if I didn’t hear him say it, I could pretend.
“Stop.” My one-worded plea fell from my lips because the lump in my throat wouldn't allow any other response from me. I feared I would lose myself completely if he kept talking. It made Cassius’s dark shadows swirl around him in an angry cloud as he fisted his hands by his sides.
“No.” His voice was thunderous in the clearing. He took deliberate steps back to escape me, each one making my chest ache with loss. “You chose them, so I guess you want the truth. How easy it was to manipulate and bend you at my will. I’ve never had to work so little for something before, Thea. You were so fucking desperate for attention and love that you would have fallen for the first man to bat his eyes in your direction. And I thought I was lucky, blessed by the Gods above that I found you first before another Kingdom could sink their claws into you. A waste. That is what I will remember every time I think of you.”
His shadows circled him in an angry ominous storm, filled with hate and disgust for me. No one had ever looked at me with this much hatred. This wasn’t him pushing me away to protect me. Cassius meant every word he said to me.
Tears brimmed in my eyes as Cassius transformed into this heartless monster. A waste. Pathetic. Unlovable. Unworthy of love. I should have stayed dead. My body trembled at the hate in his voice when he talked about me. How could he be my Cassius, the one I loved only yesterday? Everyone behind him stood immobile like they too couldn’t believe how horrible he was being, but they did nothing to stop it. The Crimson King peered at me with pity as I sunk onto the ground, curling into a ball so that Cassius’s words could not get to me, but they still had.
Please, Gods above, let the ground open and swallow me whole. I did not want to be here any longer. I needed Cassius to be lying. He was the only one to make me feel like I wasn't a monster. If he thought I was a monster, then it must be true and who would ever love something so grotesque as me?
