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“Look at your pathetic Captain of your Guard, King Luren. Look at how easy it was for me to weasel my way in and break her.” Cassius laughed and it pierced straight into my heart, obliterating it beyond repair.
Someone lifted me off the ground, and I didn’t fight it. Maybe they would end my pathetic existence.
“It’s alright, Thea. I’ve got you.”
My eyes stared up into bright blue ones. His hair was dark blonde and his face handsome. The boy who had kissed me in those memories when I first arrived at Cerithia lifted me effortlessly. The Wisp’s black flames caught my eye as they swirled around me. I didn’t know what they wanted from me.
“You can have my sloppy seconds, Jesper, but just remember how easily I took her from you the first time,” Cassius hissed at the man holding me. Cassius tensed with hatred as he watched me being carried away.
“Enough!” my father yelled. “Being a sore loser doesn’t suit you, Cassius,” He said in a much calmer, composed tone, allowing a smug smile to creep onto his face.
“Who’s the loser here? I no longer have to tame that monster you’re holding. I don't have to pretend to love her. I don't ever have to touch her again or force lies out of my mouth to make her believe anyone could love her. How could they love a monstrosity like you?” Every word was punctuated to drive home the idea that I was not worthy of anyone, especially the Crimson Prince who could have whomever he desired.
I was a monster. He thought I was a monster just like I feared. He had to be completely disgusted every time he touched me, kissed me, said those pretty lies to me. Did my touch make him feel uncomfortable? Did he think of someone else when he looked at me like he loved me? Was there someone else he loved someone worthy of him? Did they laugh behind my back because I stupidly thought he could love me when I knew all along that I was a disgusting monster? Every touch and kiss we had made me cringe inward with complete disgust for myself. His words shredded through any hope I had that I could be desired or loved by anyone. I didn't even love myself; how could I expect anyone else to?
My eyes shifted to Cassius as his cold unforgiving eyes glared at me with hatred. Pure hate radiated from him. Yet my pathetic heart still wanted him to say he was lying and to come get me. To live in those pretty lies he whispered to me. Everything I thought I knew about my past crumbled around me and painted the true, sad, and pathetic existence I had before Exile.
Unloved now, unloved always.
“I’ve got better things to do than be here,” Cassius spoke as his eyes stared at me. Then he turned around and disappeared into his shadow mist without a glance back. My eyes stared at where he disappeared. Haden, Zade, and Kace stood on Crimson’s side staring at me with confusion. The Wisps floated in a white flame. They didn’t move from their spot like they didn’t know how to process the news either. Weren’t they my friends? The clearing was silent besides my sobs that sounded like my heart had been ripped violently out of my chest. The King of Crimson’s face was the last one I saw. Tears filled his eyes as I turned away from him.
They had all used and betrayed me. All of them probably laughed with Cassius about how stupid the Cerithia Princess and Captain of the Guard was.
I heard the unnatural growl in the far distance, and it called to my own darkness. Cassius. He must be so relieved to be free from me. To never have to see me again. Never touch me or lie to me, now he could be free to find someone else. Jesper placed me in a carriage with him and my father. We faded away from the clearing in a carriage. I could hear them talking but all that ran through my tainted soul were images of a life Cassius had promised me. A life that had never been possible. A life I didn’t deserve but allowed myself to believe in anyway.
My darkness swept through me, forcing me to only notice a small ache of betrayal I was feeling. Would I ever be able to free myself from this pain? I was a monster, and I should have never left Exile. I should never have been born, but something darker burned below my hurt…rage. Rage that Cassius had used and manipulated me so effortlessly. Rage because I loved a man who only wanted to take something from me. My eyes glanced up to Jesper as he watched me oddly.
“We’ll make everyone in Crimson pay for what they did to you.” Jesper’s eyes shone brightly as I nodded in agreement.
Revenge…my darkness hummed at the thought.
“Don’t worry, Thea, you will get your chance for revenge,” my father bit out coldly. “This time you will be the one to drive a dagger through Cassius’s heart, if he even possesses one.”
