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Fuck, no.
If only she knew. Piper would have a field day if she learned about Ameline. Leslie was my first love, sure, but Ame . . .
I tap on my chest, feeling its hollowness. Why bother with these thoughts when, deep down, I feel like I’m already dead inside?
I shake my head, trying to dispel these morbid thoughts. “You guys just don’t get it,” I finally say.
“We would if you were more open. However, I’ll let this go,” Piper says. “But, when’s the last time you took a break? A real one, for fun, not just because you were forced?”
“Christmas week?” I offer, but even to my own ears, it sounds like a big fucking lie.
“Without being forced? Like, actually going on a trip or just to chill out?” she presses.
“My patients need me, Piper. It’s not like I can just up and leave,” I counter, feeling defensive.
“Your colleagues could cover for you, just like you do for them when they plan trips to a tropical destination with their families,” she argues.
She’s so fucking infuriating and I can’t handle any more of this. “Why did you call, Piper? Just get to the point.”
“As I was saying before you rudely interrupted me earlier, I was setting you up on a blind date with Rhea’s teacher,” Piper blurts, her words rushing out before I can stop her.
I almost let out a laugh, the idea’s so absurd to me.“Pass,” I snap back, more sharply than intended.
“You really should give it a try,” she insists.
Why is she so fucking stubborn?
“Try what? Pretending I can just fall for someone again? I think I’m past that stage in life, Piper,” I say, a mix of bitterness and resignation in my voice.
“You could fall in love again, you know?” she retorts.
“Doubtful.” My reply comes out more curtly than I intended. I can feel the frustration boiling up inside, a mix of irritation at her insistence and my own unresolved feelings.
She wants to set me up with someone, fix my love life. Try setting me up with my wife. Let’s see how that goes. But there are things that Piper will never know.
“You have to at least try to live for yourself,” she pushes even harder.
“Piper, I love you, and I appreciate what you do for me, but you really need to let this go,” I say, trying to keep my voice steady. It’s a thin line between showing my frustration and not hurting her feelings.
“I just wish . . .” Her voice trails off heavily.
“I’ll talk to you later, okay?” I cut in, needing to escape this conversation before my frustration spills over completely.
Chapter Three
Ameline
Here’s what I’ve learned about life—think long and hard before making a choice.
Newton’s Third Law of Motion rings true even in our lives: for every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction.
Our decisions, whether direct or indirect, immediate or long-term, lead to a series of outcomes. But every decision I make usually fucks my life.
I talked to my estranged mother—and lost all my family.
I got a brain tumor removed. The complications were the consequences . . . Increased impulsivity and some difficulty in controlling emotions. Increased irritability and mood swings. All that combined with being a newlywed, did a number on me—more so when my dear husband was a pathological liar.
Fucking asshole.
