AllFreeNovel
Share Us
And then, suddenly, I’m there. I scream, my voice bouncing through the room as I convulse around him, my body shuddering with the force of my orgasm. He follows me over the edge, his own release triggered by mine.
We collapse together, our bodies entwined, our breathing heavy and labored. I can feel his heart pounding against mine, the rhythm matching my own. It’s comforting, one that makes me feel safe and loved.
He looks at me, his eyes filled with a tenderness that takes my breath away. “I love you,” he whispers.
I want to say it back, but even when a part of me still loves him, I don’t know if I’m in love with him.
Can I ever love him the way I did?
Can our love heal us both?
“Don’t think,” he says, resting his head on my shoulder. “Just stay in the moment, baby. Just for tonight.”
But is tonight enough?
Chapter Twenty-Five
Gabriel
I wake up when the baby monitor emits a faint rustle. Glancing over to the small screen, I see Caleb beginning to stir. I’m surprised how he’s not screaming bloody murder as he’s been doing for the past few days. I could let the nurse tend to him, but I prefer to be with him at night.
It’s a way of bonding with him. I might be wrong, but deep down I have the feeling that Izzy might need help with these little ones for a while—with extra time, nurturing my connection with Caleb feels important just as it is with Cora.
Though I should get moving, I take a few moments to enjoy having Ameline in my arms. This is the first time I see her relaxed. Not only relaxed but I think she’s finally letting me back into her heart. If I could, I would freeze this moment just in case she decides to leave me behind again.
“Please don’t leave me again,” I mumble and brush a kiss over her forehead, sending a silent prayer that what happened between us tonight wasn’t just a fluke. That it happened because she decided to stop guarding her heart from me.
Am I afraid that being together was a mistake? Not really. We belong together. But what if she isn’t fully ready.
That kiss began as a combination of nostalgic memories and lingering pain. It was meant to be brief and innocent. But once I had her in my arms, her lips pressed to mine it was impossible to let her go. It just proved my theory, that I’m hers. That I still need her the same way as I did before, maybe even more.She is the air that fills my lungs. Her body fits mine by design, no doubt we were created for each other.
Ameline steadies me, her love quiets my restless soul and she is what makes my heart beat. And now that I remember how to breathe, I can only hope that she won’t leave me again. That we can become a family.
But is that within reach? Will we ever be able to get past the loss? Those moments when we’re together with Cora and Caleb, I think of the things we couldn’t share with Aly, and it is heartbreaking. But also heartwarming because I can see us becoming more—a family.
Sometimes, I imagine our daughter and what she would be doing if she was with us during this crisis. Probably helping us with her cousins. She would be the most responsible big sister. But that’s the problem when you lose a baby. There are a thousand what-ifs and an equal amount of pain for what will never happen.
Can we ever get past it and learn to live in the present?
The rustle from the baby monitor increases.
“I love you,” I whisper in Ameline’s ear, the words barely escaping my lips as I shift, careful not to disturb her. Quietly, I make my way to the nursery. Entering the room, I see Caleb, his small arms and legs flailing, his tiny face contorted in distress.
“Hey, buddy,” I say softly, lifting him into my arms. “Are we getting a little cranky waiting for me?”
His eyes stare at me intently. “Let’s get you changed, huh? Liz will be here with your meds and your bottle soon.” Our nurses are a godsend. Even when my parents come sometimes to help or my sisters are here to aid us, they’re the ones who tend to Caleb’s medical needs.
As I change his diaper, carefully slipping him back into his footie pajamas, Liz enters with a tray holding his medication and a warm bottle.
“He’s such a good baby,” she comments and as I hold him, she administers his meds. “Would you like me to feed him so you can go back to sleep?”
“No, thank you,” I respond, cradling Caleb closer. “This is our special time, right, little man?”
“You and Ameline should let us help a bit more. Cora keeps you on your toes all day long. You need to rest,” she suggests kindly, before wishing us a good night and leaving the room.
Settling into the rocking chair, I hold the bottle to Caleb’s lips, his small hands gripping my finger.
“You know what I was thinking?” I ask as I begin to move slowly.
