AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I’d replaced my gun with the pair of scissors.
A petty gratification filled me as I snipped through the ribbon on his wrist, cutting it from his wrist.
Despite the pain filling his gaze, he didn’t stop me as I held it between us.
I wanted to destroy it, and along with it, all of our memories.
I wanted to wipe the very history of our existence together.
Feeling the depth of his love, then the profound silence of his absence, was worse than if I’d never had his love to begin with. It had hollowed me out inside like a never-ending hole, until I was as lifeless as his black heart. More lifeless then when I was on heroin.
There was no stopping me now; I started at the bottom, snipping, snipping, oh so very petty of me, snipping the ribbon into pieces, imagining it was his very heart. And, by the anguished expression on his face, it might as well be.
Bit by bit, piece by piece, I cut him out of my very soul, wrenching every bit of him from me with the snip of the scissors. It was exhilarating, freeing. Loosening his hold over me. I was floating on air.
Horror-struck, his eyes were glued to my hand, the tendrils of red falling between us.
Of all the terrible things I'd done in my life, I'd never felt as powerful in my life as I did right now.
So. Knight could bleed.
I could hurt him, after all.
The ribbon fell to pieces at each snip of the cold metal in my fingers.
So simple.
So powerful.
I was cutting away the very evidence of our connection, and I reveled in it. I was destroying it and him and our history and…
…everything.
Suddenly, as I stared at the tiny pieces of red destruction on his chest, I wasn't so proud of myself.
When had I ever been so petty?
So heartless? So cruel?
So careless with Knight’s heart?
Never.
Despite everything he’d done to me, that would never erase all the good he’d been in my life.
He got me food when I was hungry, bought me clothes when mine were too small.
He kept me company when I was lonely.
He'd held me at night, when I was so high I could barely remember to breathe. He’d been there for me.
He came to see me when everyone else in the city and on the island wanted his attention. Yet, he gave it to a short, skinny, underdeveloped girl who meant nothing to anyone else.
I was nothing, and even though it hadn't lasted, Knight had given me attention, love. Kisses that made my heart ache. Protection that emboldened me, when all the other kids at school would've picked on me, but he'd spread word that if they did, they would answer to him.
He cared for me when no one else did.
Although he'd lost his love for me, it had still been there once, …and now, I'd just erased the evidence of it.
