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And yet, I could give her an inkling of a reason for it, if I wanted.
I could even tell her the whole truth—everything.
I was nervous, vulnerable in a way I’d never felt before. Would I—could I— be that person? It’d been so long since I’d opened up, I didn’t know if it was possible anymore. My palms were sweaty, my breathing heightened.
“Rook?”
As a kid, she’d always been able to detect my moods. Always running to comfort me if I was ever mad or frustrated or sad.
And now, just like then, she was staring into my eyes, into my soul, seeing me. The real me.
I was suddenly afraid.
Afraid to move, to speak. To tell my truths.
She made the first move. Reaching forward, she placed her hand on my knee, her eyes filled with concern. “It’s okay. You can trust me.”
Nerves fluttering in my stomach, I closed my eyes. I placed my hand over hers, not wanting her to remove it. “I know.”
How? When I didn’t trust anyone?
Somehow, I’d come to trust her.
Then suddenly, her hand was gone. An aching filled my chest at the removal, and my eyes blinked open. Pushing the pictures across the hardwood floor, she climbed into my lap, straddling it.
Wrapping her arms around my neck.
We were eye to eye.
Intense.
Fear.
She could see me.
Straight into my darkness.
I wanted to close my eyes, to shield her from it, to lock her out, but I didn’t dare.
I was no coward.
Instead, I looked into her eyes, allowing her to see it, feeling a trembling inside. It had been so long…
Would she hate me, betray me, hurt me, like all the others?
“Tell me,” she said softly, her hands cupping my face, forcing me to face her.
And I found the words flowing. “I, too, was a consequence of your father’s actions.”
“How?”
She waited patiently through the silence for me to explain. To recount one of the worst nights of my life.
But, with her so close, one of her hands sliding down to my chest, over my heart, as if to say that she would protect it, I didn’t slip into the memories that I’d pushed away. I stayed present, in the moment.
“Doug—your father, he found out that I owned property in an area which is now called Greybone Estates.”
“That big shopping center, with the fancy apartments.”
