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“I’m still sorry. Why don’t you call me at the airport and I’ll give you the speech I prepared?”
I laughed in spite of myself. “You did not write a speech.”
“I did so! So just FaceTime me and I’ll tell it to you.”
“It’s a plan.”
“So how was the festival? I want to hear all about it.”
“Well.” I started to try to organize my thoughts, then gave up when I realized there was no simple way to even start doing this. “It was really—different than I expected. But good.”
“Okay, I’ll have to get the whole story later.”
“For sure.”
I heard my dad take a breath and let it out. “I love you, kid.”
I smiled. “I love you, too.”
“We’ll talk tonight, okay? When you’re at the gate.”
“Sounds good.”
I hung up and just stood there for a moment, breathing in the dust and gasoline fumes, trying to push down the disappointment and sadness that was threating to bubble up.
Or, you know, Didi suggested. You could just let yourself feel it.
That works too! Katy chimed in.
“That really sucks.” Russell’s voice was soft. I turned around and saw he was standing in front of me, his sunglasses pushed on top of his head.
“It’s really okay. I’ll get an Uber to the airport.”
“I’m sorry, Darcy.”
“It’s fine.” I said this automatically, but then a second later, wondered if it really was. “It’s just a stupid rite of passage, you know? Saying goodbye at the airport. And it’s probably not that important. I think I’ve just seen too many movies about it, so I was attaching all this meaning to it.”
“But maybe we have these rites of passage for a reason. It was important to you.”
I shrugged even as I nodded. “I’ll FaceTime with my dad at the gate, and we’ll just do it remotely. If it’s really important that the person who drives me to the airport is sad to see me go, I can really try to dazzle my Uber driver or something.” Russell laughed at that, but when I followed the thought to its logical end—that I would be hauling my suitcase out of a stranger’s car myself, heading off to college without anyone to hug me and tell me they’d miss me—I felt a lump in my throat.
And for once, I didn’t try to just push the feeling away.
Finally, Katy cheered.
About time, Didi added.
“But it does suck,” I agreed with a sigh. “Like—I know things sometimes don’t turn out the way you expected, but I thought I would get this, at least. Before everything else started, you know?” I felt my chin tremble, and I pressed my lips together.
Russell took a step closer to me. He closed the distance between us and pulled me into his arms. I leaned against him, my cheek resting on the soft fabric of his yellow shirt, warmed by the sun. I closed my eyes and let out a shaky breath, and he ran his hand over my hair, stroking it gently.
After a few moments, I straightened up again. Even though it felt like I could have stayed there for a lot longer, I knew we needed to finish this. “We better get moving. We don’t have a minute to spare.”
Russell took a step back himself and smiled at me. “The puns have returned, I see.”
“I mean, doing this ourselves is better than getting a professional. They’d just jack up the prices.”
“Very nice.”
