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But worse than any of this—than standing under bright lights, clothes slowly getting wet, having just been caught in my underwear by a security guard—was the growing realization that we were really in trouble.
The red-haired woman I’d seen when I’d walked through the lobby was behind the desk in the office, along with the security guard. There were two folding chairs leaning up against the wall under a calendar written on a whiteboard. But since they weren’t unfolded, it would have seemed weird to set them up, so Russell and I were just standing in front of the desk, our bags at our feet.
This room really wasn’t big enough for four people, especially if everyone was standing, and I could feel myself getting claustrophobic. Or maybe it was just the whole situation that was doing it.
I had never been this embarrassed in my life. I could feel the embarrassment in every cell of my body, like even my cuticles and pancreas were cringing. A guard with a flashlight had caught me and Russell kissing in a pool in our underwear, and then we’d had to climb out, dripping, as people in the upper floors of the hotel had watched from their windows. Before tonight, I had always thought that died of embarrassment was just an expression, but I knew better now, because it really felt possible.
“So let me get this straight,” the woman said. Her name tag—it had a horseshoe on it—read Lily. “You’re not hotel guests. I’m guessing you came from the festival?” She frowned down at my bracelets, then turned to the guard. Josh, his brass name tag read. “This is a problem every year. Festivalgoers crash here, eight to a room—which is a fire hazard. They create chaos; we get tons of noise complaints. People always hopping the fence to use the pool, keeping all the other guests up.” She shook her head. Her voice had started rising with every word, like as she was describing all these things, she was getting more and more upset. “I’ve been dealing with this all weekend. And every year for the last three years. And I’m done.”
I took a step back—even though there really wasn’t anywhere to go—and bumped into Russell, who was behind me. “Sorry,” I whispered.
“It’s fine,” he whispered back. He put his hands on my shoulders, and I reached up and held one of his hands with mine, and he gave it a squeeze, letting me know that he was here, that I wasn’t in this alone.
“So…” Josh said. He looked at us, then back at Lily, and spun the flashlight in his hand. “What do you want to do?”
Lily crossed her arms over her chest and looked at us for a long moment before reaching across the desk to grab the cordless phone. “There is clear signage. It says the pool is for hotel guests only, and that trespassers will be prosecuted.”
“Prosecuted?” I whispered, and Russell’s hand tightened on mine. Prosecuted as in… police and jail? That kind of prosecuted?
“Wait,” Russell said. He dropped my hand and came to stand on the other side of me. He suddenly looked a lot paler than he had when we’d come in here. “We were actually just talking about this.” He was speaking fast now. “About getting a room here for the night. We saw you had a vacancy?”
“Really,” Lily said. She didn’t ask it like a question.
“Yes,” I said quickly. “We were. So maybe that would… fix this?”
Lily shook her head, looking even angrier now. “It’s not retroactive! You two were trespassing. You don’t get to buy your way out of it.”
“You don’t?” This was Josh the security guard. “Because my cousin got caught sneaking into a movie. But then he paid for the movie and so they just let him go watch it. So maybe—”
“Thanks, Josh,” Lily said, cutting him off. She lifted the phone and it was like I was suddenly having trouble breathing. Because she was only going to make one call. She’d found trespassers; if she was calling anyone, it was the police.
A bleak thought flashed through my head—maybe if I was in jail, I wouldn’t have to go to Stanwich College after all. But this thought was replaced a second later by a much worse one. I was going to have to tell my dad. He was going to be so disappointed in me.
I closed my eyes for a second. I knew, in my bones, that this was all my fault. I was the one who’d suggested the pool. I was the one who’d found the key card. Without me, none of this would be happening.
“It was my fault,” I said, taking a step closer to the desk. “If anyone is going to get in trouble, it should be me. Not Russell.”
“Darcy.” Russell shook his head. “It’s okay.” He turned back to Lily. “I’m sure that we can work something out.”
She let out a short laugh, the kind with no humor in it. “We’re not working anything out. People need to know that there are consequences. This kind of behavior has gone on much too long.”
It felt like we were being treated simultaneously as kids and adults—like we were kids who should have known better, but were also going to be subject to adult consequences. However, I knew better than to point this out at this particular moment.
“So I’m sorry,” she said, even though she didn’t sound particularly sorry. “This is happening.” She was still holding the phone but hadn’t turned it on or dialed it yet, which was all that was preventing me from spiraling into a full-blown panic attack.
“I promise,” Russell said, “we can fix this.” He turned to me, reached out and touched my hand for just a moment before letting it go. He gave me a sad smile, and then his face crumpled. “Goddamn it,” he whispered.
He bent down and started rifling through his bag, then pulled out his phone and stood up.
I took a breath, to remind him that his phone was dead—but then I saw Russell’s home screen light up.
“Your… phone was charged?” I asked, even though the proof was in front of me. I just couldn’t understand it. “This whole time?”
Russell winced, not looking at me. “Yeah,” he said quietly.
“But… why would you…” I could see now very clearly—on a phone that was supposed to be dead—a picture of Russell, grinning, as he jumped off what looked like a very nice boat into an azure sea.
It felt like someone had shaken the earth beneath me, like the ground I’d assumed would hold me was riven with fault lines. What was happening?
