AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He let out a short laugh. “Yeah.”
I suddenly remembered the way he’d reacted when I’d brought up DitesMoi. Not to mention all the times I’d looked at it when I was bored or wanted a distraction—using other people’s real lives for entertainment, never worrying about who it was hurting or if it was even true.
“It was when he and Chloe were deciding to separate. And of course I was talking to Olivia about it, because she was my girlfriend and I thought I could do that.”
I drew in a breath. “Oh no. Russell. I’m so sorry.”
“And it sucked because I know my dad and Chloe wanted to do it on their own time, you know? But suddenly the news was breaking, and C.J. was getting called in, and Bronwyn… and it was all because of me.”
“Not you,” I pointed out. “You didn’t leak information to some trashy gossip site.”
He sighed. “Even so. Obviously, we broke up after that.”
“It’s so awful that she would do that,” I said, feeling my stomach clench with anger.
“Yeah. Not great.” He switched lanes, even though I couldn’t see that there was any need to—maybe it was just to have something to do. “So then the musical, which had been all about love, suddenly took a really big turn in act 2. I probably should have just scrapped it, but…”
“What was it called?”
“Crystalline Lies.” I couldn’t stop myself from making a face, and Russell laughed. “Yeah. I know. My dad tried to get me to change it too. That should have been my first clue it wasn’t working.”
I looked across the car at Russell, wondering if he felt the same I had last night, when I’d finally told him about Gillian—like I’d just put down something heavy. “Thank you for telling me.”
“Has… anything like that ever happened to you?”
“I mean, just last week I caught Didi trying to auction off my personal information.…” I was trying to make a joke, but Russell only gave me a ghost of a smile, and I knew it had fallen flat. “Sorry.”
“I didn’t mean about that.”
“No, I know.”
“I meant…” He glanced over at me. “Have you ever had your heart broken?”
I shook my head, suddenly feeling woefully inexperienced. Russell had written a whole angsty (and possibly not all that good?) musical about his ex. And all my actual feelings about my short-lived relationships probably wouldn’t even have been enough for a jingle.
“No. But I’ve never really been in a serious relationship like that. I think,” I said slowly, “I’ve been spending way too much time waiting for my meet-cute, or whatever. And missing out in the meantime.”
You mean like we’ve been telling you for ages? Didi huffed.
I mean, at least she’s getting there now, Katy said.
“Or maybe you had your heart broken a lot earlier.” I looked over at him, confused, and he shrugged. “Heartbreak isn’t always because of romance.”
Just like that, the specter of Gillian appeared in the car between us. “You mean my mom?” Russell shot me a sympathetic smile and a shrug. And for once, I didn’t try to push my feelings about her away—I just sat with the idea for a moment. I’d spent so long telling everyone I was fine, that she didn’t matter to me. Lying to myself and everyone else. Ignoring the giant gash in my heart I wasn’t allowing to heal. “Maybe you’re right.”
“It happens occasionally. Not often, but…”
I smiled. “It’s funny.”
“What is?”
“Just—when we were back in Jesse, I thought it was good we weren’t talking about anything really real. Like how you never know what people are saying in those rom-com montages—I thought if you had to talk about serious things it meant there wasn’t some kind of immediate connection.” I shook my head. “But I don’t think you should zoom past it, really. Like, this is the important stuff.”
“Maybe we’re just getting everything in the wrong order. It’s helicopters before cars all over again.”
I laughed. “I mean, I don’t even know your middle name.”
“I have two.”
