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“That, too,” I say. “But you better believe I’d never have let anybody lay a hand on her unless I was absolutely certain she wanted it.”
“And she let you,” he says, confusion rising again. “That’s part of what I don’t get. She doesn’t strike me as… what’s the word? Biddable? That’s not it. Easily influenced?”
“The word you’re looking for is submissive.” Just saying it out loud makes my heart beat faster. “And if you’d asked me a week ago, I’d never have guessed she was either.”
“Which makes you dominant,” he says. He frowns at my surprise. “I’m not an idiot. I’ve been on the Internet.”
More likely he’d sat through a certain popular movie that rhymes with Nifty Blades of Day, but I let that one go.
“When we’re together, it would seem I have a dominant streak,” I say. “But that’s never been the dynamic between Callahan and me. If anything, I believe she’s responding more to you.”
Raleigh looks more confused than ever. “She’s not submissive with me, though. And I’m not what you’d call dominant.”
“Would you consider yourself submissive?”
That shocks him into silence.
“It’s only a theory,” I say, keeping my voice mild like we’re making small talk. It takes effort. “I suspect you and I are the ones engaged in a power exchange. I believe Callahan is responding to that.”
Raleigh’s breathing speeds up.
“That is…” Raleigh bites his lip. “That is really sexy.”
Fucking right, it is. I lean forward, bracing my forearms on my knees to keep from reaching for him. We’re not done talking yet, and the next time I come I want Callahan here for it.
Somehow it’s become my responsibility to see that Raleigh gets where he needs to go. I can’t say why—we’re not having sex; we’re not even touching—but it’s my responsibility, and I’m not going to leave him to fumble his way through it on his own. Maybe I can’t be everything he needs, but this… this I can do.
“Is that something you want to explore?” I ask. I know I sound clinical, but if it keeps my hands off him another few minutes, so be it.
“Are you insane?” he asks. “Of course I do.”
“Then what’s the problem?” His hesitation is palpable, and I can’t parse it out.
Raleigh looks back down at the floor and takes a deep breath, like he’s bracing himself.
“I want more.”
“More than power exchange?” Now it’s my turn to be confused. I’m not sure what he means, but I’m sure as hell willing to work it out.
“No. I mean, yes.” He’s adorable when he’s flustered. “What I mean is, like I told Callie earlier. I don’t want this to end yet.”
Oh. That kind of more.
Raleigh looks me right in the eye, no more stammering.
“I want to see you again, West,” he says, his voice quiet but clear. “You and Callie, both. I want to try this in the real world, when we get back home.”
I want that. The thought rings clear in my head before I can shove it back into whatever box it crawled out of. I don’t do relationships. I sure as hell don’t do multiple relationships at once. Not to mention the fact that my family would lose it if they found out I’m involved with Callie and Raleigh both.
Not that I’m going to go broadcasting my sex life. But if they had a problem with me casually dating men occasionally, they’ll blow a collective gasket over a relationship between three people.
For a long moment, I don’t say anything at all. I imagine how bad that would be, the inevitable scenes where my family flips out, or where I fuck up and let down not just Raleigh, but Callie, too. I picture the part where somebody probably gets jealous or starts feeling left out and let myself bleed a little over that.
And through it all, that thought keeps coming back to the forefront. I want that.
Raleigh pushes off the couch, and I realize I’ve been silent too long.
“Forget I said anything,” he mumbles.
