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ONE
I shouldn’t have done it. I shouldn’t have gazed into Aneirin’s eyes, but I had to know the truth. His rich jade eyes were nothing compared to my bright emerald ones, yet they drew me in.
We sat in the meadow, hidden in the nodding grasses. The breeze tickled my cheek. Aneirin had leaned in to me, and I to him. I could have kissed him if I wanted. Instead, we were in a fate-determining, life-altering staring contest.
Peering into the soul through the eyes was entirely normal. Emrys did this when proclaiming their love for each other. Even if the expression had already been declared, saying the words I love you in no way compared to reading the imprint on the heart—love’s imprint on the heart’s center for a loved one.
Aneirin’s feelings weren’t known to me or any other emrys by the gift of discernment we all possessed, but I had to peek.
I had to know how he felt.
I had waited too long to know the truth.
Following his light’s trail, my inner sight passed his pupils, down the pathway leading into his mind and into his emotional core. The mind held many folds and divots and components for feeling and memory. I simply allowed my light to seek them out and touch them.
Aneirin shouldn’t have let me look. Perhaps he had become frustrated with my dreamy, infatuated manner. Perhaps he wanted to prove that, once and for all, I was wrong. That there was no hope for us.
I wanted an eternal companion. The time was right. I was ready. The desire itched through me constantly, like a ticking clock of longing. I had chosen Aneirin. In my heart, I was already his.
He knew this. I didn’t conceal my feelings. I cast no wall around my heart-center as Aneirin had. I was an open book. But Aneirin didn’t ask to read my heart-center’s imprint; I asked to read his.
Images from a lifetime of Aneirin’s memories filled me as I looked. We spent years as friends—this result was inevitable once my dragon’s mate chose Aneirin as his rider. He had grown on me with his overly worried, constantly furrowed brows, his more-than-seriously narrowed eyes, and ridiculously thin-pressed lips. His meek spirit rivaled my aggressive, rebellious one. I don’t know why I thought a relationship—a life with him—would work.
I was a fool.
By the time my light slipped into his heart-center—to the spiritual core from which our light perpetuated, I knew the truth.
He loved me…
Like a sister.
All those fond adventures together—flying on our dragons, sneaking off into the hills after dusk for yet another campout, skipping class at the university to infuriate our parents, damming up the river to make a pond with the help of Catrin and our dragons—and he never once thought of me as more than a playmate.
My light retreated. I pulled back…
Humiliated.
I blinked at him, turmoil roiling under my skin. My eyes bulged.
He didn’t blink.
“By the Light, Aneirin!” I exclaimed. “I hope you’re satisfied. You had to put me in my place. Well, look at my heart! Do you want to stare into my eyes? Do you want to know how my soul feels?” I clenched my fists and pushed myself to my feet, tossing my ashy waves over my shoulder, not waiting for him to answer.
Aneirin’s sorrow, for the hurt he caused, hit me as he scrambled up.
I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.
I was the one who was crushed. Embarrassed. Disheartened.
My face flushed as if a dragon’s flame had scorched it.
I retaliated, dropping all the walls around my emotions. My light lashed out and shoved my battered sentiments forward.
I threw brokenheartedness at Aneirin. I threw despair.
Feel my heart cleaved in two.
He flinched as if I’d punched him in the stomach.
