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Pretending I didn’t have something else entirely on my mind.
Kelyn.
The day before, we flew all afternoon from town to town. I was delighted to introduce Seren, and I soaked in Kelyn’s support. We were met with trepidation by adults, but children warmed up to Seren immediately.
I had no fear for her well-being nor mine.
That’s not what filled my head as I roamed the corridors, with the rain driving its beat into my uneasy heart.
Kelyn never overcame his fear of flying. I didn’t expect him to, despite the feelings of safety and confidence I sent through him. But his fear of flying wasn’t what stirred my stomach like a swinging pendulum.
No matter how I pushed the feelings away, I still felt his arms around my waist. Still felt his breath on my neck as Kelyn panted and nearly hyperventilated from terror. He pressed his body to mine as any dragon’s second passenger might, but the experience was different.
Because Kelyn was different.
His aura laced me with an untempered restlessness. This pained me and thrilled me and confused me enough that I wished I could knock myself out.
But I couldn’t, so during the restless day after our adventure, I passed bedchambers, stealing through the palace like a criminal. I wrapped my arms across my abdomen and pretended his touch was there.
No. Wasn’t there. I was unable to make up my mind. As I searched with my light, I knew exactly where Kelyn was. In his study, pouring over papers. If he knew what he was doing to me, would he be so engrossed in work?
In my dreary daytime explorations, I approached the great hall where the men practiced. I debated slipping inside to watch because I had yet to see mortals spar.
But a portrait of Kelyn opposite the hall’s doors distracted me.
Everything about Kelyn was opposite Aneirin, who was too serious, all clean lines, and smooth curves. I couldn’t ever recall the hair on his face. Kelyn joked about everything. He had boyishly good looks. Thick lips and eyebrows. A shadow of scruff across his cheeks and down his neck. I wanted to trace the divot above his mouth until my finger touched his moist lips…
I gasped.
The infatuation with Kelyn’s appearance was new to me. My infatuation with Aneirin wasn’t physical. I’d had an emotional connection with him that I mistook for romantic feelings.
I’m turned around! I don’t know my head from my heart. I wasn’t sure if I liked the prickling under my skin these mortals caused.
Seren nagged me with warning. Too soon for romance.
It’s not romance. I can’t help these encroaching feelings. It’s as if my heart has a mind of its own.
You’re not used to feeling like this. It’s this mortal world.
Whispered words of lifelong teachings filtered through my mind. Mortals are corrupted. They will corrupt you. Never leave Gorlassar.
My father once took me to the snowy ledge and had me look out over the mortal world. I saw only white-capped mountains.
He pointed. “There is where the evil is. Never go farther than this ledge. Close your eyes and feel the air. A steady pulse of uncertainty and malignant promises beckon. You must not heed them.”
“What’s out there?” I wanted to see more than the mountains. I wanted to see if mortals were dark and ugly. I wanted to know if what my childhood friends whispered about the weaker race was true. That mortals were liars. They were cheats. Their hearts were black. An evil ruled them.
As I stood on the ledge, I felt the evil. I shivered. My father spoke truth with his words.
It was unwise to consider leaving Gorlassar.
But Kelyn wasn’t evil.
Only when I was still, in the very dark of the night, did I feel those vibrations of a wickedness that hummed on the air, that caressed with haunting fingers and planted doubt in my heart.
Could these humans corrupt me?
I analyzed my heart-center. My light felt fine, but I didn’t have other immortals’ lights to compare it to.
