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“Now try to stand up,” I told her, hand still holding her arm in position.
She couldn’t.
“See? I’m not trying to overpower anyone. I just want to put myself in a position where I can disengage and escape. So now that you’re down like that, I’m going to let go and run.”
Casey stood, her eyes lit with excitement. “Can you show me again?”
A bit more slowly, I went through it two more times until she felt like she could try it on me.
We reversed spots, and after one correction of how she was gripping my hand, she had me down on one knee, body turned away from her.
“Excellent,” I told her. “Let’s do that one more time, and we’ll move on to another move.”
Casey did great, pushing me down and away from her with more ease, and her smile was broad when I stood back up.
“Okay, how do you feel about grabbing me by my braid? I can show you a really easy way to escape if someone grabs your hair.”
Immediately, her face went pale. “I … I don’t know.”
I held my hands up. “We won’t do anything that will make you feel uncomfortable, I promise.”
She crossed her arms over her stomach again. “I could grab yours fine, I think, I just … I can’t have that …” Her voice trailed off and she gestured vaguely to her own ponytail. Casey squeezed her eyes shut. “I wasn’t like … attacked or anything. It was just a drunk guy at a party, and he got a little handsy.”
My heart broke as she fumbled for words, and all that fiery rage I’d felt earlier came roaring back. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
Behind her, I saw Aiden drop his chin to his chest, which expanded on a deep inhale.
I took my own steadying breath. “Would you mind if I brought in someone who can show you how this works?”
Casey blinked, looking uncertain.
“He’ll only grab my hair,” I promised. “He won’t touch you at all, okay? Or we could do another move too.”
“No,” she said. “I can watch. Thank you, Isabel.”
I laid a hand on her arm and squeezed. My gaze found Aiden’s, and I lifted my chin. “Could you help me a second, please?”
He pushed from the beam and walked over, and I had to curl up my fingers into a fist when I felt the slightest tremor of nerves.
Casey gave him a quick, tight smile, and he answered with a small nod.
“Casey, this is Aiden. He’s our owner.”
She waved. “Hi. Sorry for being a chicken about this.”
He dipped his head down because she was so much shorter than him. “Don’t ever apologize, okay? It’s hard to let someone put their hands on you, even if it’s just to practice.”
I had to fight the urge not to think something unfair like, oh, screw him for saying something perfect. I didn’t want Aiden to say and do perfect things. I wanted him to screw up. Do something that made me mad. Do something that made me want to call Carl back and tell him I’d take his job offer.
And that was the thing. I didn’t want to take Carl’s job offer. I’d only do it if I had a really, really good reason. As Aiden faced me, green eyes locked onto my face, I had to make peace with the fact that him knocking my emotions off-kilter was not a good reason.
Imagining us together wasn’t a good reason.
Wondering if he had any room in his life, his heart, for someone new wasn’t enough either.
Acknowledging it was enough to calm something frantic inside me. Trusting that I knew it was right to stay, even if it took me time to move past this, had me breathing easier.
“Aiden is going to grab my hair, okay?” I said to Casey even though my gaze didn’t move from his. “And I want you to watch how I move my arm.”
