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“I’ve always been that person,” I told him. “The impossible one. Always. And now I understand what it must have been like for the people waiting for me.”
Aiden’s brow furrowed, his chest worked steadily as his breathing increased.
“I wish you’d trust me enough to tell me why this is so hard.” I searched his face. “I want to know. But I won’t keep putting myself in this position, where we almost do, we both want to, and then you pull back. I won’t do it anymore.”
Aiden
She was right.
And she was wrong.
I knew a whole lot standing in that office with her.
I wanted to grip the back of her neck and take her mouth, not gently, not sweetly.
I wanted to see what I’d find if I peeled her tiny shorts off her long, long legs.
And beyond all that, I wanted to wrap her in my arms because I knew why she was frustrated. Knew what I was doing to cause it.
But I didn’t know how to stop. How to explain.
Never in my entire life had I felt this sort of barely leashed energy, and Isabel had no idea how close she was to shoving open the flood gates holding back the snarling beast inside me.
I didn’t like that she was frustrated with me.
I didn’t like that I’d walked away from her in my bedroom.
I didn’t like that we forever seemed to walk this tightrope of soft, stolen touches or immediate combustion.
At my continued silence, she made a frustrated noise in the back of her throat.
“I’m sorry,” I ground out. I unfolded my arms and set my hands on my hips. It was the only way to keep from grabbing her, tugging her to me like I wanted. “I’m sorry for the other night. I shouldn’t have …”
But my words stopped there. Because I couldn’t make myself apologize for touching her.
I couldn’t make myself apologize for one moment where I felt the press of her body against mine. Imagined pushing her back onto my bed and finding slick, sweet comfort with her legs around mine. I’d thought of it a dozen times since she walked out of my house, each time, finding empty release with the shower pulsing hot over me, the bed empty next to me.
“You shouldn’t have what?” she whispered. Isabel didn’t back down an inch. “Even now, you can’t say it.”
My eyes held hers because of course she knew what I wasn’t willing to say.
I held myself still because this precipice was dangerous, and it wasn’t the place for us to fall over it. There was no way for me, not now, to explain how selfish it would be for me to go down this path with her.
How unprepared I was for someone like her.
Her blue eyes changed as I stood there silently, from anger-tinged desire to resignation, and it made me want to rage.
“Isabel,” I said, shifting closer to her, my hands lifting toward her.
“No,” she said firmly. Her hand came up, stopping just shy of my chest. I think she knew—we both knew—that if we touched right now, any good intentions would vanish. Not just vanish, they’d explode. “Don’t call me by my first name, don’t act like you’re going touch me right now, unless you know exactly what that means for you.”
I backed up, hands dropping back by my side.
Her chin quivered dangerously, but she sucked in a sharp breath. Watching her ability to get control of her emotions was incredible.
“I’m done being awed by you, Aiden Hennessy. I’m done acting like I don’t want you because I do.”
If a man could remain standing while feeling humbled to his core, without falling to his knees, then I’d just managed it. She was staggering in her strength, and I had my first flash of unease that I was fucking up something big … something that might not happen to me again.
