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“We starting the movie?” Sage asked. “I’ll go change into comfies.”
Harlow’s ribs expanded on a deep breath, and after a second, she turned to nod over her shoulder. “Good plan, kiddo. I think I will too.”
When she walked past me, her fingers brushed against my wrist, a touch so light it could have been accidental, but the way her eyes stayed fixed anywhere but on my face, I knew it wasn’t. The possibility that this was a mistake had me sinking into a chair the moment they went upstairs to change. Elbows on my thighs, I clutched the sides of my face and took a few deep breaths.
Maybe it was too much. Too much for a friend to be doing, anyway. Everything built up inside me since the day she moved in shook dangerously, great big, thick vines pushing up through the foundations of those walls I’d built. As I sat there and wondered what the fuck I was doing, and why I was doing it, I felt a great crack bloom in the middle of all my reserves and there was nothing I could do to patch it back up again.
It was like that story about the kid who tried to plug the hole in the dam with his finger. The pressure simply built and built and built. All those waves I’d felt were no longer a soft ebb and flow, something that I could ignore because of the way they eased in and out of my head. This hurricane was bearing down on me with no hope to survive the effects.
I ignored all the visuals that came with it and took a few deep breaths, trying to slot all those feelings into neat little boxes to be dissected later. Much, much later. With the help of alcohol, preferably.
I stood from the chair and went to change myself, swapping out my work jeans for some gray sweatpants and a white T-shirt.
They came back downstairs a few minutes later, and Harlow’s eyes darted down to my pants. Her cheeks looked slightly pink in the dim light of the room.
Sage found her container of candy and immediately tore into the Sour Patch Kids package. “How did you know these are my favorite?” she asked.
“I didn’t,” I admitted. “I just got the same crap your mom and I used to eat when we watched movies.”
“Argued about watching movies,” she countered. Her eyes finally flicked to mine, and my chest unclenched because this was normal Harlow—a smile hidden in the deep brown. “I can’t believe you’re conceding this one so easily.”
We each settled onto our spots, and I tucked my arms behind my head. “Only on your birthday, Keaton. Tomorrow, you don’t get this kind of preferential treatment.”
She laughed, such a light, airy, happy sound, that I felt my heart turn over in my chest as I watched her and Sage ooh and aah over their candy choices while the movie started. Harlow started with some chocolate, which I expected. I opted for the Skittles.
As the movie began, the flickering lights filling the room, Harlow snuck a shy glance in my direction and smiled.
I smiled back.
It wasn’t too much.
It was just right for us. For what we used to be to each other.
Sage had never seen the movie, and even though I’d watched it at least ten times with Harlow in high school, I found myself laughing along with them as the couple bickered, doing their best to ignore the building attraction between them, even when it was obvious to everyone else.
My skin felt tight and uncomfortable as the similarities clicked into place, the dull thump of my heart echoing in my ears. At one scene, I risked a look at Harlow’s profile, and she was watching the screen with a surprisingly earnest look.
Usually, I could always sense what she was thinking, but I couldn’t right now. Maybe that was part of growing up in your friendships, especially when you haven’t been in the other person’s orbit for so long. I’d lost the right to know all her thoughts and guess what was going through her head.
So I took a deep breath, focused on the movie, and eventually relaxed. When it was over, I turned on my side, and Harlow immediately held a finger up to her lips to let me know Sage was asleep.
I moved up onto my elbow, smiling when I saw her curled up on her side, sound asleep with the pink blanket wrapped around her. Harlow carefully eased off the air mattress, and I did the same.
When we stood, I watched her pick up the extra blanket and wrap it around her shoulders. Her hair was a little messy, long past staying in the ponytail she’d fixed it in.
“Should we wake her up for some cake?” I whispered.
Harlow sighed, giving her daughter a fond look. “No, let’s let her sleep. She already sang to me over pancakes this morning.”
My eyes traced her face. “I’m sorry I missed that,” I murmured.
“You were gone early.”
I nodded. “My boss is kind of a dick like that.”
She laughed, then covered her mouth with her hand when Sage shifted on the air mattress. “Cut me a piece?” she asked. “I need to use the bathroom real quick.”
While she was down the hall, I used a cake knife to cut two wedges from the cake, then pulled forks from the drawer. When she came out, she smiled. “Your cake piece isn’t quite as obnoxious as the one I cut myself last night.”
