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“Unless they’re into that sort of thing,” Poppy said. Every person at the table swiveled in her direction. She blinked a few times. “What? I’m not saying I am, but … people have all sorts of kinks, right? I’m not here to judge.”
“Dear God, will someone please change the subject,” Jax said, his hands covering his face.
Every once in a while, no matter what the topic of conversation was, I’d catch Ian’s eye, and there was a quick, breathless moment where my traitor, sex-deprived mind would drag me back to that hallway and the towel and the way his hands felt around my waist.
But then someone would ask a question or say something funny, and that breathless moment disappeared in a whisp of smoke, nothing I could grab onto even if I wanted. I shouldn’t grab onto it. And even though the setup at the table looked like a triple date to anyone who passed, it helped that Poppy sat next to me, and Jax was on the other side of Ian. It allowed me to remember that it wasn’t a date, no matter how date-ish it might appear.
That, and Cameron and Ivy were the only ones engaging in nauseatingly cute public displays of affection. He was always touching her. And for as cool and reserved as she came off, Ivy melted into him with every single one of those touches.
They finished whispering something to each other. Poppy was busy looking at her phone, and I hid a yawn behind my hand. It was well past my bedtime. Ivy leaned in toward the table.
“Cameron says I’m not allowed to ask this because it might be rude, but I’m too nosy not to,” she said, pinning me with a frank look. “Sage’s father. What’s the deal there?”
Beside me, Ian went still, tilting his head a bit closer. He’d been in conversation with Jax, but he stopped talking as I answered. We’d talked about a lot since I moved in with him. But we hadn’t talked about this. We hadn’t talked about my relationship history or his, an invisible boundary drawn by both of us.
Maybe Ian thought about where to push and where to stay still, too.
“Not much to tell,” I admitted. “We weren’t in a serious relationship. Maybe the fourth or fifth guy I’d dated in New York, and he just … didn’t want to be a dad. I told him I was pregnant, he said it was my decision what I did with the baby, but he didn’t want any part in it.” I shrugged, a slightly nonchalant gesture for a loaded subject. “That’s about it.”
Ivy looked very unimpressed by this answer. “He pays child support, right?”
Slowly, I shook my head. “Not a penny. I didn’t hear from him again after he walked out of my apartment the day I told him.”
Poppy looked sad. “That’s terrible.”
Jax kept his eyes on the table. Some guy standing at a nearby table called his name, and he ducked out of his seat and made his way over to talk to them.
“It could’ve been worse,” I said.
“How?” Ian asked in a dry tone.
“I could’ve married him,” I answered simply. “We could have made the wrong decision for the wrong reasons, and that wouldn’t have helped anyone.” I set my chin on my hands and sighed. “When Ian and I were in high school, I had this whole picture of my life when I was this age. I thought I’d turn thirty-five and have a party with my family, and my husband would whisk me away for a romantic date, and we’d dance under the stars, and he’d kiss me good night…” I realized I’d effectively turned the mood maudlin. Ian was the only one who wasn’t staring at me, his gaze locked onto his folded hands on the table. The skin of his knuckles were white. I forced a bright smile onto my face. “He wouldn’t have done any of that. So, all in all, I really believe it’s for the best that he walked.”
Ivy’s eyes were on fire. “You’re right, marriage wasn’t the answer. But he should’ve financially supported you at the very minimum.” Then her gaze narrowed. “What’s his name?”
Cameron chuckled under his breath. “Easy, duchess, Harlow may not want you to track him down.”
“He should be tracked down,” she muttered. “Dick.”
I smiled. “I could’ve pushed for child support,” I told her. “Taken him to court. It would have been messy and difficult, and instead, I chose what made the most sense to me at the time.” Again, I shrugged. “I was making good money off my first couple of books, had an advance for two more, and I was fortunate that I didn’t need his support to take care of her. I chose to protect my mental health and not make Sage watch me chase him down her whole life for something he didn’t want to be a part of.” My brow flattened. “I can’t imagine how hard that would’ve been for her. That constant reminder he didn’t want any part of our life.”
Ian’s big fingers plucked at the label around his beer as he listened quietly. His face, as usual, gave absolutely nothing away. Gawd, if that didn’t make me want to shake him until he said something, pry his stoic little head open until his thoughts fell out.
Ivy sighed. “Fair enough. But if you change your mind,” she tipped her wineglass in my direction, “let me know.”
“I will,” I said with a small laugh. Then I settled my hands on the table. “Please, let’s talk about something less depressing than my relationship history.”
“Well, then we can’t talk about Ian’s,” Cameron said smoothly. “You had one girlfriend in London? Two?”
Ian glared at his brother.
“He had two that we know of,” Poppy added helpfully, now the recipient of her own glare. “Sophia was the one from Scotland, there for college, if I remember right.”
“Uni,” Ian corrected tersely. When I gave him an incredulous look, he held his hands up. “What? They call it uni.”
“Dating a co-ed, old man?” I asked. “How terribly cliché.”
He rolled his eyes, but a slight pink flush on his cheeks made me smile. “She was twenty-one, and I was twenty-nine. She wasn’t that much younger.”
