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Harlow and I traded a quick look, and the brightness in her eyes had me smiling, the family and team dynamics a hay day for someone like her who loved observing people. She’d probably come out of a dinner like this with five book ideas.
Poppy set down her fork and settled back in her chair, arms folded. “I’d like to announce that I’ve moved on from the strong, silent type, and I’m now very open to new options.”
Cameron snorted. “Since when?” Then under his breath, he added, “Jax will be relieved to hear this.”
Poppy narrowed her eyes dangerously. “Since last month. I actually went on a date with someone last week. He was funny and outgoing and nice.”
Parker, Cameron, and I exchanged a quick brotherly look. Cameron’s eyebrows raised briefly, and Parker shook his head.
“Good for you, Poppy,” Ivy chimed in. “If that man can’t see how amazing you are, it’s his loss and you shouldn’t waste your time.”
“Hear, hear,” Sheila said.
Jamari grinned. “Well, if you ever want someone else to?—”
“And on that note,” Parker interrupted, “your ass can start clearing the table.”
Cannon and Miles stood too, and the four football players started on the dishes while my mom and sister laughed.
Sage was excused from the table, scampering over to the couch in the family room to find the Thursday night game. Cameron and Ivy settled in by the chess table to start a game, and I locked eyes with Harlow, then nodded my head to the front porch.
I felt my mom’s gaze on me as we walked outside, but I ignored it because, damn, it was easier. Maybe that was what Parker felt like with all of us watching him.
Harlow leaned against the railing, and in the fading daylight, I had to remind myself of what she used to look like. That I didn’t used to catch a glimpse of her and think, When did she get so fucking beautiful?
I thought it at the bar the other night, and at practice too, and not because she was a little dressed up and had a bit more makeup on than usual. I just noticed.
I noticed the coach eyeing her. Even noticed Parker’s teammates checking her out at dinner when she told a funny story about Sage.
“It was a good night,” she said.
Standing next to her, I set my hands on the railing and faced forward, looking out at my parents’ property while I nodded. “It was.”
She was quiet for a minute, then gently nudged me with her shoulder. “You’re worried about something.”
“Just saw something in Parker’s face. He didn’t look like himself at dinner.” My inhale was slow, allowing my thoughts to settle a little. “I don’t know yet. Could be nothing. But I’m going to watch to make sure it’s not something.”
“You don’t think it’s about your dad?”
My jaw clenched tight. “Probably.”
“Do you guys … talk about it when you get together?”
The question, innocent though it was, had my throat closing up, my chest getting heavy. And I couldn’t answer. Right behind us, my dad’s favorite rocking chair sat empty, and I couldn’t bring myself to turn around and look at it. Eventually, I shook my head, because she deserved an answer.
Harlow did nothing but watch me, her gaze heavy on the side of my face. “You’re a good brother, Ian.”
The praise sat uncomfortably on my skin, maybe because I felt like I hadn’t earned it. “Am I?” I heard myself ask.
Harlow turned to face me, her hip resting on the railing, that white sweater still hanging off the slope of her shoulder. I wanted to tug it up higher for the sheer lunacy of how much I was noticing the curve of her neck when she wore it.
“Yes. Of course you are.”
“I don’t feel like I am.” The words came out quiet, just above a whisper. I hadn’t admitted that to anyone. “I feel … selfish. I was gone for so long because it was easier than being here. And when I was here, it was like I forgot how to be part of a big family, and I’d pick stupid fights and needle my brothers about their shit when really, they’d have every right to do the same to me.”
“I think you’re being awfully hard on yourself,” she said, choosing her words carefully. “It’s perfectly normal to leave home to find yourself and pursue your dreams. You came home when it mattered.”
I dropped my head, staring at the ground, when I felt Harlow carefully tug at the arm closest to her until I had no choice but to face her. She took a deep breath, her eyes searching mine for a moment, and then she stepped in, coiling her arms around my waist and tucking her head underneath my chin.
