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“Hey Bernadette, what’s up?” she said. “I’m assuming you wanted to call me for something other than just pleasantries.”
“Yeah, sorry.”
“No need to apologize. Like we’ve all told you before, we’re here for you now. That’s what friends do after all. So tell me, what’s on your mind?”
“I have a rather long story to tell you,” I said. “I realized that I needed someone else to know what was going on. I need some advice too—I just feel kind of lost.”
“Of course, lay it all on me.”
I did. I told her the whole story from the beginning, starting with how my friends from college had coerced me into going to that party and having sex with that boy.
Throughout that whole part of the story, she was silent until I got to the part about the drinks. And the sex.
“That’s technically rape,” she said. “I would help you press charges if you wanted to. We could find him and get you a good lawyer.”
“Lucas already offered,” I said. “But thank you, I think I’m good. I just don’t want to think about it too much. Like, as little as possible.”
“Of course, I can definitely understand that. Just let me know if you need me for anything and I’ll be right there.”
“Thank you. But there’s also another reason why I don’t want to bring things to court. The fact is, I’m pregnant. I don’t want the father knowing because I don’t trust him not to request custody, or at least some sort of something, of the child.”
“You’re pregnant?” I could hear the shock in her voice. “I can imagine that it would be difficult for you to deal with.”
“Lucas has been helping me, but I have wanted to talk to someone else, so thank you for being here for me.”
“Of course. I’m here no matter what you need to talk about. Was there anything else?”
I nodded, then realized that she couldn’t actually see me. “Yeah, there was actually. A lot more. The fact is that my mom kicked me out of the house because of it. The things she said to me…it made it sound like she felt everything was my fault.”
“Oh honey, it’s not your fault. Nothing like that is ever the fault of the victim. And for your mom to say that it was is very bad, especially when she is the one who should be supporting you during this time.”
“Thank you.”
“Of course, I’m here for you darling.”
“There’s…”
“More I’m guessing? Tell me, what is it that you want to talk about?”
“Well, the fact is the run-in with Camellia really scared me, and she said some things that have been getting to my head. Like how Lucas is just playing with me and he’ll get bored, and I’m being selfish entering into a relationship with him when I’m about to have a child, especially because now he’s going to be the one helping me take care of it.”
“Tell me something dear, did you tell him you were pregnant before the two of you got together?”
“Yes.”
“And was he the one who offered to help you take care of the child?”
“…yes.”
“Then you have nothing to worry about. If he knew what he was getting into and he was the one who offered to help you with the baby, then it’s his fault if he can’t handle that, not yours. I know that Camellia has a way of getting into your head––she’s gotten into mine before, too––but you have to do your best not to let it get to you. Otherwise, she wins.”
“I guess you’re right.” I sighed. “It’s just hard not to think of those things, you know. Especially with everything with my mom. I guess I just miss her, a lot. I hadn’t really realized how much I needed her until she wasn’t there.”
“Have you tried texting her?”
“What?”
“I mean, let’s be honest, it might be pretty daunting to try to figure out what to do after you kick your child out of the house. She might want to make up with you but might just not know how to do it yet. If you text her then you’re letting her know that you want that connection back and you’re giving her an opening to do so.”
