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I walk toward her, grabbing both of her hands as my fractured heart plummets into my stomach with more guilt—for what I’m not even sure anymore. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d be this upset, and you were so busy with the baby. I should have told you.”
“It’s not about you telling me.” She grunts, letting go of one of my hands to fist her hair. “I love you so much. So, I need you to hear everything I’m saying. You belong here. I want you here. You’re my family, just like everyone else in this house. And I wouldn’t let any of them hurt you.”
My chest tightens. I love those words but hate the emotion behind them. “I know you wouldn’t. I’m not hurt, Ivy. It’s fine.”
She shakes her head in frustration. “That’s not … I can excuse just about anything, but Liam is not the guy you use until you find the right one. He’s not a dirty secret. He’s a choice. He needs to know he’s a choice. And I can’t stand by—”
“He’s not a choice I can make, and you know it. He knows it. I was clear. It was just one night. Weeks ago.” God, that tastes like a sour lie, burning my throat. “He’s not even interested anymore. How is this my fault?”
“You don’t see it,” she whispers.
“See what?”
Her hand rubs over her chest like it hurts. “I know you’ve got this weight of expectation on you. But I also know it’s rooted in Ben, and this … this isn’t what Ben would want.”
“What isn’t? Me having a one-night stand?”
“No, Lettie,” she scorns. “You behaving like that’s all it was.”
A throat clears in the doorway, slicing through our tension. We both snap our heads that way to find Wells looming there.
“Rex is waiting.”
“Of course.” I dip my chin, trying to steady my breathing. “I’m ready.”
He steps into the room, his gaze flitting to his exasperated wife before coming back to me. “You’re a knockout in that dress, Celeste. Make sure your guards keep a tight rein on you.”
“They always do,” I reassure.
“Your father insisted that we not accompany your crew.” He swipes a hand through his hair. “I don’t like that, so say the word, and one of us will come anyway.”
Recalling the absurdity that became my last date when Liam was an added guard, I promptly reply, “No thank you. My team can handle it.”
Wells seems to deliberate on that for a beat before eventually conceding with a heavy exhale. “I’ll walk you out.”
He steps into the hallway, arching a brow at Ivy in a silent rebuke.
She puffs out her jaw and glares in return until finally huffing. “Have a good time, Lettie.”
I curl my arms around her, knowing she can’t stay mad at me through a hug. “I’ll do my best. Love you.”
I wish I could explain it all to her. How I feel trapped and confused. How I want things I can’t have, but have no intention of hurting anyone other than myself. How I’m always disappointing someone. How her family feels more like home than anywhere has since Ben left this world, and leaving it behind will only fan the flames that ignited that day. But it will have to wait, no matter how much it hurts to bear her reproach.
Wells escorts me to Rex, who tucks me in the back of the SUV between Keith and Dante. And off we go.
“No Liam?” Rex muses from the front seat. “Left the poor guy behind, Cee?”
I keep my chin high, unwilling to let anything else penetrate my psyche tonight. “It’s what my father wanted and the only way I can do what needs done.”
“Seems like giving up,” Keith mutters beside me. His words are rare, so they hook my curiosity.
“Giving up?” I question.
“Yeah,” Dante says from my other side, shoulders uncharacteristically rigid. “Throwing in the fucking towel.”
How many people’s opinions do I need to contend with for one damn outing?
“Do you all think that?” I snipe, to which I am met with silence. “Cut the bullshit and just answer.”
